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Should thinking of someone else while being intimate with your partner be considered cheating?
Now, the reason I ask this is that there is a lovely lady I work with who may be having a 'psychic affair' with yours truly. I don't want to cause any harm to her relationship by continuing to be a sexy distraction. For all I know, this sexual dissonance has already caused major rows.
I know I've thought about a lot of different things when 'on the job', like what to have for dinner, what I really should have said in that meeting, etc. But none of those things would be considered being unfaithful.
Am I wrong to be concerned?
[Post edited 12 Jul 2019 7:20]
footers KC - Prosecution Barrister - Friend to all
Well, you came charging into a reasonable thread with what could be seen as a homophobic insult to myself and two others who are not here. No need to apologise but please ensure it doesn't happen again.
This morning the lady in question led me to her desk and paraded me like a shire horse in front of another colleague. I would have taken her to the stationery cupboard there and then had I not been a man of morals.
Hopefully now you realise the gravity of the situation.
footers KC - Prosecution Barrister - Friend to all
Well, you came charging into a reasonable thread with what could be seen as a homophobic insult to myself and two others who are not here. No need to apologise but please ensure it doesn't happen again.
This morning the lady in question led me to her desk and paraded me like a shire horse in front of another colleague. I would have taken her to the stationery cupboard there and then had I not been a man of morals.
Hopefully now you realise the gravity of the situation.
Has she told you she thinks of you while shagging her fella? Pretty full on if so.
I think the behaviours she is displaying would indicate just that. It must be difficult to work with someone so sexually magnetic. I may have to speak with HR or change jobs for the sake of her marriage.
footers KC - Prosecution Barrister - Friend to all
I think the behaviours she is displaying would indicate just that. It must be difficult to work with someone so sexually magnetic. I may have to speak with HR or change jobs for the sake of her marriage.
I think you are very wise to think ahead and consider the consequences. Here is some more of one of my favourite 1960's Czech films (although unfortunately not the bit about thinking of football to prevent premature ejaculation, I only mention this as a sop for the regret that you will feel at being unable to change the category of this thread from 'general') to underline the importance of a modicum of reserve, but you will have to lie about your age to watch it:
I think the behaviours she is displaying would indicate just that. It must be difficult to work with someone so sexually magnetic. I may have to speak with HR or change jobs for the sake of her marriage.
ha!
She's married too? Blimey, so she can't just go and ditch the looser quicktime then. I feel for you - must be tough being adored like that - lots to live up to. Go easy on her and try to make sparing use of your charismatic power.
Has anyone ever looked at their own postings for last day or so? Oh my... so sorry. Was Ullaa
Crack-on Footers, just make sure you don't blurt out the wrong name at an explosive moment........
Assumption is to make an ass out of you and me.
Those who assume they know you, when they don't are just guessing.
Those who assume and insist they know are daft and in denial.
Those who assume, insist, and deny the truth are plain stupid.
Those who assume, insist, deny the truth and tell YOU they know you (when they don't) have an IQ in the range of 35-49.
She's married too? Blimey, so she can't just go and ditch the looser quicktime then. I feel for you - must be tough being adored like that - lots to live up to. Go easy on her and try to make sparing use of your charismatic power.
Thanks, mate- very good advice. I'll see what letting the old personal hygiene standards slip will do. No doubt the pheromones will only increase the sexual tension knowing my luck.
footers KC - Prosecution Barrister - Friend to all
She's married too? Blimey, so she can't just go and ditch the looser quicktime then. I feel for you - must be tough being adored like that - lots to live up to. Go easy on her and try to make sparing use of your charismatic power.
Assuming this is genuine (I have my doubts) then presumably there are ways you can steer clear of this person? After all, if you were at all interested in pursuing a married woman I assume you'd have already have done so.
I worked with a girl once who was in an unhappy relationship. She had my number, as most of us had each others numbers at work and one year after a Christmas party, where I'd never even spoke to her, she rang me after she'd got home asking if she could come to my place and telling me her boyfriend was asleep.
I declined and asked what on earth she thought she was doing. Hung up.
On the Monday morning, her bloke was waiting to punch my lights out. Fortunately I walked in with two mates which stopped it getting physical. He'd apparently woken up, heard her speaking to some bloke saying she was going to sneak round and he'd then had a row, taken her phone, saw my number.
I had literally no involvement with her ever and didn't even know she really knew of me, aside from being one of 30 people in the same office. The boyfriend started sending me threatening texts, turning up outside work, all sorts. She had told him the truth but he refused to believe I had played no part in it.
I guess if it can get that messy when you're not even aware you're involved then I dread to think what happens if you in anyway encourage it.
Assuming this is genuine (I have my doubts) then presumably there are ways you can steer clear of this person? After all, if you were at all interested in pursuing a married woman I assume you'd have already have done so.
I worked with a girl once who was in an unhappy relationship. She had my number, as most of us had each others numbers at work and one year after a Christmas party, where I'd never even spoke to her, she rang me after she'd got home asking if she could come to my place and telling me her boyfriend was asleep.
I declined and asked what on earth she thought she was doing. Hung up.
On the Monday morning, her bloke was waiting to punch my lights out. Fortunately I walked in with two mates which stopped it getting physical. He'd apparently woken up, heard her speaking to some bloke saying she was going to sneak round and he'd then had a row, taken her phone, saw my number.
I had literally no involvement with her ever and didn't even know she really knew of me, aside from being one of 30 people in the same office. The boyfriend started sending me threatening texts, turning up outside work, all sorts. She had told him the truth but he refused to believe I had played no part in it.
I guess if it can get that messy when you're not even aware you're involved then I dread to think what happens if you in anyway encourage it.
Blimey! What happened in the end? If he refuses to believe the truth (which I can see why) then surely the situation continued?
And why do you have doubts? Are you implying I'm unattractive?
footers KC - Prosecution Barrister - Friend to all