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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now 09:24 - Aug 6 with 3894 viewsGeoffSentence

It might have been fooled by the curtains which have a sort of leafy, floral design. It bonked its head on the glass of the door twice, then retired to the fence where it tried to look like nothing had happened.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:30 - Aug 6 with 3210 viewsBloomBlue

Do you have a dog?
Are you sure the squirrel isn't working those people who pinch dogs and it's now cleverly left a mark on the window (like a chalk mark) to let them know there is a dog here?
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:32 - Aug 6 with 3201 viewsfactual_blue

A perfect metaphor for modern life.

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:45 - Aug 6 with 3168 viewshampstead_blue

I'm assuming it was one of those pesky grey squirrels?

Shoot it.....tree rats the lot of them.

Assumption is to make an ass out of you and me. Those who assume they know you, when they don't are just guessing. Those who assume and insist they know are daft and in denial. Those who assume, insist, and deny the truth are plain stupid. Those who assume, insist, deny the truth and tell YOU they know you (when they don't) have an IQ in the range of 35-49.
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:46 - Aug 6 with 3163 viewsBrixtonBlue

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:45 - Aug 6 by hampstead_blue

I'm assuming it was one of those pesky grey squirrels?

Shoot it.....tree rats the lot of them.


Coming over here, stealing our nuts.

I bet Bloots will downarrow this.
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:03 - Aug 6 with 3131 viewshampstead_blue

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:46 - Aug 6 by BrixtonBlue

Coming over here, stealing our nuts.


Shocking.

A small calibre round will do, .22 is very effective at short range.

Assumption is to make an ass out of you and me. Those who assume they know you, when they don't are just guessing. Those who assume and insist they know are daft and in denial. Those who assume, insist, and deny the truth are plain stupid. Those who assume, insist, deny the truth and tell YOU they know you (when they don't) have an IQ in the range of 35-49.
Poll: Best Blackpool goal

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:26 - Aug 6 with 3123 viewsBluefish

we used to have one living in our roof. Absolute c*** of a lodger, no respect at all. Got the man from the council to shoot at it, hasn't been back since.

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:35 - Aug 6 with 3108 viewsGuthrum

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:26 - Aug 6 by Bluefish

we used to have one living in our roof. Absolute c*** of a lodger, no respect at all. Got the man from the council to shoot at it, hasn't been back since.


Chew through the electrical wiring, if you aren't careful.

Good Lord! Whatever is it?
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:37 - Aug 6 with 3105 viewsMullet

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:35 - Aug 6 by Guthrum

Chew through the electrical wiring, if you aren't careful.


What sort of council workers have you got down there Guffers?

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:50 - Aug 6 with 3089 viewsBluefish

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:35 - Aug 6 by Guthrum

Chew through the electrical wiring, if you aren't careful.


Nah this one was more of a c*** than that, used to go for the deliberately scratching loud in the middle of the night approach, wearing us down gradually. Put a trap up there and the little f***** was too clever. Used to dance through and take the peanut butter sandwiches and have a picnic without setting it off. I equally respected and hated it

Poll: Who has performed the worst but oddly loved the most?
Blog: [Blog] Long Live King George

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:52 - Aug 6 with 3076 viewsLibero

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:50 - Aug 6 by Bluefish

Nah this one was more of a c*** than that, used to go for the deliberately scratching loud in the middle of the night approach, wearing us down gradually. Put a trap up there and the little f***** was too clever. Used to dance through and take the peanut butter sandwiches and have a picnic without setting it off. I equally respected and hated it


This reads like the script for a Warner Brothers cartoon.
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:55 - Aug 6 with 3071 viewsWeWereZombies

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:46 - Aug 6 by BrixtonBlue

Coming over here, stealing our nuts.


balls

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 11:01 - Aug 6 with 3057 viewsGeoffSentence

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:30 - Aug 6 by BloomBlue

Do you have a dog?
Are you sure the squirrel isn't working those people who pinch dogs and it's now cleverly left a mark on the window (like a chalk mark) to let them know there is a dog here?


Will check for chalk marks thanks.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
Poll: The best Williams to play for Town

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 11:03 - Aug 6 with 3050 viewsGeoffSentence

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:45 - Aug 6 by hampstead_blue

I'm assuming it was one of those pesky grey squirrels?

Shoot it.....tree rats the lot of them.


It was, there are none of the nice fluffy red ones round here.

Shooting it is not an option, don't have a gun. don't have a licence and would have been shooting at the boundary with my neighbour, which would have endangered the bouncy castle.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
Poll: The best Williams to play for Town

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 11:03 - Aug 6 with 3046 viewsGeoffSentence

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 09:46 - Aug 6 by BrixtonBlue

Coming over here, stealing our nuts.


Woaaah. That made me wince. I will enhance the protection for my nuts.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
Poll: The best Williams to play for Town

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 11:09 - Aug 6 with 3023 viewsWeWereZombies

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 11:03 - Aug 6 by GeoffSentence

Woaaah. That made me wince. I will enhance the protection for my nuts.


Understandable reaction but you have to evaluate the threat level. It is not that extreme so don't go nad about it now...

Poll: How will we get fourteen points from the last five games ?

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 12:03 - Aug 6 with 2978 viewsSwansea_Blue

Worst joke ever. There wasn't even a punchline

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 12:45 - Aug 6 with 2944 viewsClapham_Junction

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:50 - Aug 6 by Bluefish

Nah this one was more of a c*** than that, used to go for the deliberately scratching loud in the middle of the night approach, wearing us down gradually. Put a trap up there and the little f***** was too clever. Used to dance through and take the peanut butter sandwiches and have a picnic without setting it off. I equally respected and hated it


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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 13:05 - Aug 6 with 2917 viewsNthQldITFC

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 10:50 - Aug 6 by Bluefish

Nah this one was more of a c*** than that, used to go for the deliberately scratching loud in the middle of the night approach, wearing us down gradually. Put a trap up there and the little f***** was too clever. Used to dance through and take the peanut butter sandwiches and have a picnic without setting it off. I equally respected and hated it


I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.

# WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE #
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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 14:14 - Aug 6 with 2860 viewsGeoffSentence

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 12:03 - Aug 6 by Swansea_Blue

Worst joke ever. There wasn't even a punchline


Not a joke, it really happened. Well he bonked his head on my backdoor twice, it is what drew my attention but what his motivation was I can't be entirely sure, he might not have been trying to break in, he might have just fancied banging his head on my door.*

*It could have been a she or indeterminate gender but it is traditional when the gender of a squirrel is not known to refer to it as 'he'.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
Poll: The best Williams to play for Town

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:37 - Aug 6 with 2811 viewsjaykay

no he was on a mission , you should have let him in

forensic experts say footers and spruces fingerprints were not found at the scene after the weekends rows

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:42 - Aug 6 with 2799 viewsjeera

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 14:14 - Aug 6 by GeoffSentence

Not a joke, it really happened. Well he bonked his head on my backdoor twice, it is what drew my attention but what his motivation was I can't be entirely sure, he might not have been trying to break in, he might have just fancied banging his head on my door.*

*It could have been a she or indeterminate gender but it is traditional when the gender of a squirrel is not known to refer to it as 'he'.


One day, when I lived in Chevington, there was a knock at my front door.

I went and opened the door and there was a sheep standing there looking at me.

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:48 - Aug 6 with 2785 viewsWeWereZombies

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:42 - Aug 6 by jeera

One day, when I lived in Chevington, there was a knock at my front door.

I went and opened the door and there was a sheep standing there looking at me.


The service you get when you ring those numbers in the back pages of magazines is quite amazing nowadays, isn't it?

Poll: How will we get fourteen points from the last five games ?

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:54 - Aug 6 with 2776 viewsjeera

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:48 - Aug 6 by WeWereZombies

The service you get when you ring those numbers in the back pages of magazines is quite amazing nowadays, isn't it?


They can be very prompt indeed.

But this one I hadn't even ordered.

It was an escapee of course, from a farm not too far away, but it was the way it had tapped at the door a couple of times, I honestly expected a person to be standing there.

It just kept looking at me expecting me to do something and it was quite unnerving.

Poll: Xmas dinner: Yorkshires or not?

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:59 - Aug 6 with 2766 viewsWeWereZombies

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 15:54 - Aug 6 by jeera

They can be very prompt indeed.

But this one I hadn't even ordered.

It was an escapee of course, from a farm not too far away, but it was the way it had tapped at the door a couple of times, I honestly expected a person to be standing there.

It just kept looking at me expecting me to do something and it was quite unnerving.


When I lived in Weeting I went to a talk at the Village Hall given by a guy who had just retired after sixty years or something as a shepherd, could not persuade my kids to go. After I had experienced two hours of slides showing all the stupid body mangling accidents and withering diseases that sheep subject themselves to I was quite relieved that my kids had passed up the opportunity for extra-curricular education.

Poll: How will we get fourteen points from the last five games ?

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A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 17:00 - Aug 6 with 2720 viewsSwansea_Blue

A squirrel tried to break into my house just now on 14:14 - Aug 6 by GeoffSentence

Not a joke, it really happened. Well he bonked his head on my backdoor twice, it is what drew my attention but what his motivation was I can't be entirely sure, he might not have been trying to break in, he might have just fancied banging his head on my door.*

*It could have been a she or indeterminate gender but it is traditional when the gender of a squirrel is not known to refer to it as 'he'.


Starting off like that, it should have been a joke. But you've recovered well with a good euphemism.

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