| Is a relationship break a good idea 21:39 - Jun 8 with 2695 views | blueball1 |
My partner of 15 years has asked me to move out for a week unfortunately, we don’t argue but she feels we don’t have a strong bond anymore. We have kids which makes it worse. Anyone think this is a good idea it just feels like the start of the end to me |  | | |  |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 21:46 - Jun 8 with 2632 views | Guthrum |
Hopefully you can pull things back together. In the meantime, look after yourself. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 21:52 - Jun 8 with 2598 views | gainsboroughblue |
Without knowing you or the circumstances, can't really advise. But just because you don't argue etc, it doesn't mean that attraction and bonding can't disappear, even temporarily. A break doesn't have to mean a break up either. Time apart could start to give her the gift of 'missing you' and remembering what was special about you and what made her enter into a relationship with you.
It's important though that you keep busy in that time and concentrate on your own life, work, social groups etc. Don't contact her unless she contacts you (seeing as it was her idea) and see if the old adage of 'absence making heart grow fonder' works. It could turn out to be the reboot your relationship needed.
Good luck. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 22:06 - Jun 8 with 2544 views | jeera |
Without wishing to put ideas into your head, is there any reason you should move out for the week and not your partner?
It doesn't seem to be your idea after all. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 22:13 - Jun 8 with 2507 views | Swansea_Blue |
A week doesn't seem very long. We regularly go almost that long at home without talking to each other due to work commitments! (Ah, so maybe there is something in having a mini-break after all).
I've not got any specific advice, other than to say be honest with each other and keep communicating. Try and explore what's happening without either of you getting defensive (easier said than done). |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 23:44 - Jun 8 with 2313 views | Ryorry |
We don't know your situation of course, but life is extra stressful for almost everybody atm & everyone reacts differently. Could be that she just needs some space (literally) to de-stress & chill out.
How old are your kids?
One of the best tenants (well, lodger at that time, living in upstairs flat of old house) I ever had was in same situation as you - stayed for 6 months, at the end of that time he & his wife were able to see that they had a hell of a lot going together, counted their blessings (incl 3 gorgeous young-ish kids) & got back together - 20 years later, they still are, and very happy! |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 00:10 - Jun 9 with 2271 views | giant_stow |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 23:44 - Jun 8 by Ryorry |
We don't know your situation of course, but life is extra stressful for almost everybody atm & everyone reacts differently. Could be that she just needs some space (literally) to de-stress & chill out.
How old are your kids?
One of the best tenants (well, lodger at that time, living in upstairs flat of old house) I ever had was in same situation as you - stayed for 6 months, at the end of that time he & his wife were able to see that they had a hell of a lot going together, counted their blessings (incl 3 gorgeous young-ish kids) & got back together - 20 years later, they still are, and very happy! |
Me and mrs ullaa had a few months split about 20 years* ago too
*20 fcking years ago?!!!! Ouch.
Edit: op, think there's already some really good advice above already. [Post edited 9 Jun 2020 0:16]
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 00:36 - Jun 9 with 2224 views | jeera |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 00:10 - Jun 9 by giant_stow |
Me and mrs ullaa had a few months split about 20 years* ago too
*20 fcking years ago?!!!! Ouch.
Edit: op, think there's already some really good advice above already. [Post edited 9 Jun 2020 0:16]
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Yes, and the OP might want to consider that I am single when comparing the differences in attitudes on the thread.
I can't quite put my finger on why I live alone but he may want to take that into account before flying off the handle and telling her if she doesn't like it then she knows where to find the door.
Hmm. | |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 06:54 - Jun 9 with 2044 views | eastangliaisblue |
I think the lockdown has certainly gave most of us an underlying level of stress, that we don't appreciate.
On a personal level, i know it has me and my wife. Being stuck with each other, for 24 hours a day for weeks on end, with two teenage children, does take a toll. In fact, we did have to have a heart to heart a couple of weeks ago, as we were starting to struggle a bit.
The point i'm trying to make is, sit her down and have a chat it might make all the difference. |  | | |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 07:57 - Jun 9 with 1866 views | Marshalls_Mullet |
My gut feeling is the same as yours sadly. But we are in strange times, and normally we wouldn't have the extra pressure / stress of a lockdown.
Maybe you could go along with her suggestion, but come back refreshed and with ideas of how to renew that bond.
...but also have some honest reflection and consider whether you think she is right. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 11:28 - Jun 9 with 1658 views | DebsyAngel |
I feel really sorry for you.
Is there any way you can live in the same house but not communicate and stay out of each others' ways as much as possible? I am not sure what your home is like, but why should you move out? Especially in this climate, it is rather unfair that you should clear off.
And has she considered your kids and discussed it with them? All seems a bit hasty to me. |  | | |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 12:15 - Jun 9 with 1567 views | Blue12345 |
Might do you both good a bit of a reset. Time to yourself is important for everyone. Especially with this lockdown etc. Ask yourself would this have happened had it not been for the lockdown and current climate we live in, that will help.
Don’t let it get you down though everything works out in the end. | | | |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:04 - Jun 9 with 1484 views | gtsb1966 |
I've been married and divorced three times. My advice would be don't ask me for advice. |  | | |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:28 - Jun 9 with 1439 views | Libero |
I've been with my partner 13 years, married for six.
I think a break can be good, but coupled with what you say about her view on your lack of a bond I'd suggest that sadly it doesn't look good.
Assuming you still want to be with her I'd do some reflective thinking, what's different from when you were first together in how you interact with one another?
Could you do more?
I wish you the very best. |  | | |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:40 - Jun 9 with 1382 views | clive_baker |
Can you at least defer your week break until the pubs are open again, so you can do something productive with your new found freedom?
On a more serious note, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so it's perhaps worth exploring as an option, with a view to seeing how you both feel at the end of it. I'm sure this has been a testing time for a lot of couples, living in each others pockets a little more than usual with a lack of social plans etc. Perhaps it's worth questioning if this is a result of the current circumstances, of if things had been heading south for a while, as they might lead to different answers.
Good luck with it all. Whatever happens, make sure you've got people to talk to about things and remember that things tend to happen for a reason. As difficult as things seem now, no doubt you'll look back at some stage and agree that you got to the right decision, whatever that may be. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:52 - Jun 9 with 1333 views | usm |
If she wants a break, I'd suggest she moves out, not you. Once youre out it may be difficult to get back in again.
Having said that, a break may not be a bad thing, without knowing your situation, as you will both have a chance to reflect and maybe realise what you would be missing. |  |
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| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:55 - Jun 9 with 1324 views | giant_stow |
| Is a relationship break a good idea on 13:52 - Jun 9 by usm |
If she wants a break, I'd suggest she moves out, not you. Once youre out it may be difficult to get back in again.
Having said that, a break may not be a bad thing, without knowing your situation, as you will both have a chance to reflect and maybe realise what you would be missing. |
Re who moves out, I would have thought that whoever's looking after the kids stays with them in the home, no?
(Sorry if this is an unwanted comment op) | |
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