| Malicious compliance 16:54 - Sep 26 with 1893 views | Reus30 |
Afternoon all,
I posted last week, maybe the week before how work was actually pffffff.
Today, I had a conversation with the MD regarding time management of my team. Apparently someone without testicles has snitched on me. He doesn't care much but he wants my team to ensure they are aware....
Now, I am solely 100% responsible for this as I rock up at 9:15 without too much care for obvious reasons. My team are almost always on time apart from a bus issue or a doctors appointment so they are without blame and I exclaimed that. However, I have been told that clockwatchers from afar are monitoring start times and toilet breaks which is just bull.
I have told my team I don't care and to ensure they leave bang on when required. What should I do to ensure that I comply with the clockwatcher's requests. Should I walk in at 8:59 and greet them with a "Good morning cu**s?" or just monitor their start times and loudly note it down? Do I loudly mention it if I need a poo?
Help me release my pettiness. |  | | |  |
| Malicious compliance on 16:58 - Sep 26 with 1840 views | redrickstuhaart |
Maybe just go to work at the time you are paid to? |  | | |
| Malicious compliance on 17:08 - Sep 26 with 1806 views | Keno |
Oh small minded petty actions, I may be able to help here!!
I can suggest
1, Eating egg sandwiches and/or food that makes you fart at lunch time and just letting rip all afternoon
2, think of a really annoying tuneless song, something by the Smiths will suffice, and sing it every 5 minutes
3, Become 'a born again' something (doesnt matter what) and become excessively evangelical with some extremely way out view (such as wearing yellow is a sign of the devil)
4, claim you have done family research and you are actually a royal and expect the peasants you work with you address you as HRH, Baron or Von Rues
5, spent all day one a random football message board and start reading posts out loud pretending they are the funniest things you've ever seen (obviously if Hoppy is posting you want need to pretend)
6, learn to whistle, slightly off key (see point 2) |  |
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| Malicious compliance on 17:19 - Sep 26 with 1751 views | noggin |
| Malicious compliance on 16:58 - Sep 26 by redrickstuhaart |
Maybe just go to work at the time you are paid to? |
So no staying late at all? |  |
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| Malicious compliance on 17:19 - Sep 26 with 1744 views | redrickstuhaart |
| Malicious compliance on 17:19 - Sep 26 by noggin |
So no staying late at all? |
Sounds good to me | | | |
| Malicious compliance on 19:18 - Sep 26 with 1607 views | Swailsey |
Probs arrive on time and instil that culture within your team?
If there’s more going on here, apologies - I missed the OP. |  |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| Malicious compliance on 19:23 - Sep 26 with 1567 views | farkenhell |
| Malicious compliance on 17:08 - Sep 26 by Keno |
Oh small minded petty actions, I may be able to help here!!
I can suggest
1, Eating egg sandwiches and/or food that makes you fart at lunch time and just letting rip all afternoon
2, think of a really annoying tuneless song, something by the Smiths will suffice, and sing it every 5 minutes
3, Become 'a born again' something (doesnt matter what) and become excessively evangelical with some extremely way out view (such as wearing yellow is a sign of the devil)
4, claim you have done family research and you are actually a royal and expect the peasants you work with you address you as HRH, Baron or Von Rues
5, spent all day one a random football message board and start reading posts out loud pretending they are the funniest things you've ever seen (obviously if Hoppy is posting you want need to pretend)
6, learn to whistle, slightly off key (see point 2) |
2 - are you trying to upset Mullet? And, 5, what has Hoppy ever done to you?
I do like 6 though. Will try it on my (hormonal) children! | | | |
| Malicious compliance on 19:36 - Sep 26 with 1524 views | Kropotkin123 |
| Malicious compliance on 19:23 - Sep 26 by farkenhell |
2 - are you trying to upset Mullet? And, 5, what has Hoppy ever done to you?
I do like 6 though. Will try it on my (hormonal) children! |
5, what has Hoppy ever done to you?
Don't stoke that fire, we had to move servers after their first argument. |  |
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| Malicious compliance on 15:55 - Sep 27 with 1339 views | Keno |
| Malicious compliance on 19:36 - Sep 26 by Kropotkin123 |
5, what has Hoppy ever done to you?
Don't stoke that fire, we had to move servers after their first argument. |
you've obviously forgotten I am Hoppys comedy creation | |
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| Malicious compliance on 16:05 - Sep 27 with 1308 views | StokieBlue |
How can one monitor toilet breaks?
Do they assign you a period of time per g or ml of waste?
Ridiculous.
SB |  |
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| Malicious compliance on 16:10 - Sep 27 with 1291 views | Keno |
| Malicious compliance on 16:05 - Sep 27 by StokieBlue |
How can one monitor toilet breaks?
Do they assign you a period of time per g or ml of waste?
Ridiculous.
SB |
Maybe they limit your sheets | |
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| Malicious compliance on 17:04 - Sep 27 with 1224 views | jontysnut |
I was once told at work that they had the ability (but didn't confirm that they actually did) to monitor individual keyboard activity as a crude measure of who was busier and who was more likely to be staring out the window or yakking about last night's football. There's no escaping 'the man'. |  | | |
| Malicious compliance on 17:37 - Sep 27 with 1105 views | MJallday |
You could always fart in the office then post about it on here.
Worked for me once |  |
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| Malicious compliance on 17:40 - Sep 27 with 1092 views | Ewan_Oozami |
| Malicious compliance on 16:10 - Sep 27 by Keno |
Maybe they limit your sheets |
Don't even mention pivot tables... |  |
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