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A terrible joke 14:53 - Mar 1 with 2643 viewsMiaow

I got myself a large goldfish as a pet but it has been acting all shy since I brought it home.

It's a coy carp.

⋆⋆⋆ My Ipswich Town quizzes: https://www.jetpunk.com/series/1696326/hinckfords-ipswich-town-quizzes ⋆⋆⋆
Poll: Which of this season’s (outfield) shirts do you most prefer?

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A terrible joke on 14:56 - Mar 1 with 2152 viewsKeno

I went to a zoo yesterday the only animal there was a small dog

It was sh1t zoo

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A terrible joke on 14:57 - Mar 1 with 2154 viewsNthQldITFC

I got myself a large goldfish as a pet but it has been acting all shy since I brought it home.

It's a coy carp.

# WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE #
Poll: It's driving me nuts

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A terrible joke on 15:00 - Mar 1 with 2125 viewsmrfixit426

Why did the chicken go to the gym?

To work on his pecks
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A terrible joke on 15:46 - Mar 1 with 1965 viewsmonkeymagic

I went into a pet shop and asked for a wasp. When the assistant said they don’t sell wasps I replied that you’ve got one in the window.
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A terrible joke on 15:54 - Mar 1 with 1919 viewsSwansea_Blue

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.

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A terrible joke on 15:58 - Mar 1 with 1896 viewshomer_123

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets...then it hit me.

Ade Akinbiyi couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo...
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A terrible joke on 16:55 - Mar 1 with 1760 viewsMattinLondon

I had a pet snail which I raced against other snails. I thought that if I got rid of his shell it would make him faster. But instead it just made him sluggish.
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A terrible joke on 17:17 - Mar 1 with 1695 viewsPlums

Two fish in a tank.

One said to the other, "I have no idea how to drive this thing"

It's 106 miles to Portman Road, we've got a full tank of gas, half a round of Port Salut, it's dark... and we're wearing blue tinted sunglasses.
Poll: Which recent triallist should we have signed?

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A terrible joke on 17:26 - Mar 1 with 1655 viewsDeano69

A couple still had a son who was still living with a home.
They were a getting concerned as he was unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.

They took a £20 note, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home.

The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, sadly it would look like he will be a drunkard”

So the parents hid in the downstairs cupboard and waited nervously.
Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the items they had left.

He picked up the £20 note, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it.

Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality ... then he left for his room, carrying all three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said: "This is even worse than I could ever have imagined... "

"Our son is going to be a politician!"

Poll: What view setting do you use for TWTD

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A terrible joke on 17:28 - Mar 1 with 1653 viewsDeano69

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said "are you going to help?" I said "No, Six should be enough".

Poll: What view setting do you use for TWTD

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A terrible joke on 17:30 - Mar 1 with 1637 viewsLancsBlue

I bought a dog from an ironmonger last week. When I got him home he immediately made a bolt for the door.

Poll: If you watch Town less often than in the past, what is the main reason?

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A terrible joke on 18:04 - Mar 1 with 1545 viewsNthQldITFC

A terrible joke on 17:28 - Mar 1 by Deano69

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said "are you going to help?" I said "No, Six should be enough".



# WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE #
Poll: It's driving me nuts

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A terrible joke on 18:05 - Mar 1 with 1545 viewsNthQldITFC

I got myself a large goldfish as a pet but it has been acting all shy since I brought it home.

It's a coy carp.

# WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE #
Poll: It's driving me nuts

2
A terrible joke on 18:25 - Mar 1 with 1485 viewsstickymockwell

What's red,white and flies?
A sanitary Owl

Give him a ball and a yard of grass
Poll: How many times have you looked at the table since full time yesterday?

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A terrible joke on 18:29 - Mar 1 with 1455 viewsMattinLondon

A terrible joke on 17:28 - Mar 1 by Deano69

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said "are you going to help?" I said "No, Six should be enough".


Speaking about numbers - I once got into a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 7 and 9. I’d love to say that I put up a good fight but the odds were against me.
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A terrible joke on 18:36 - Mar 1 with 1443 viewsOldFart71

A piece of tarmac goes into a pub walks over to the bar and orders a pint. The barman gives him his pint and pointing over to a green piece of tarmac sitting near the window say's " Why don't you go over and sit with your mate" the piece of tarmac replied " No way am I sitting with him, he's a cycle path"
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A terrible joke on 18:41 - Mar 1 with 1418 viewsOldFart71

Just found this steering wheel inside my pants. It's driving me nuts.
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A terrible joke on 18:46 - Mar 1 with 1398 viewstazdac

Vote Conservative! ;o)
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A terrible joke on 18:53 - Mar 1 with 1375 viewsOldFart71

Little Johnny is late into school, teacher say's " Johnny why are you late" Johnny replied " My dad got burnt" "Badly" say's the teacher" " They don't fck about at the crematorium " replies Johnny.
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A terrible joke on 18:57 - Mar 1 with 1359 viewsNthQldITFC

A terrible joke on 18:36 - Mar 1 by OldFart71

A piece of tarmac goes into a pub walks over to the bar and orders a pint. The barman gives him his pint and pointing over to a green piece of tarmac sitting near the window say's " Why don't you go over and sit with your mate" the piece of tarmac replied " No way am I sitting with him, he's a cycle path"


Beautiful girl goes up to the barman and asks for a double Entendre.

So he gives her one.

# WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE #
Poll: It's driving me nuts

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A terrible joke on 18:57 - Mar 1 with 1355 viewsHARRY10

My wife is going to the West Indies

Jamaica ?

No she was born that way


My dog has got no nose

How does he smell ?

I have no idea, I have no nose either
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A terrible joke on 19:10 - Mar 1 with 1312 viewsOldFart71

Budgies winning anything.
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A terrible joke on 19:11 - Mar 1 with 1310 viewsNthsuffolkblue

A terrible joke on 18:29 - Mar 1 by MattinLondon

Speaking about numbers - I once got into a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 7 and 9. I’d love to say that I put up a good fight but the odds were against me.


Why are the numbers all afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.

Poll: Is Jeremy Clarkson misogynistic, racist or plain nasty?
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A terrible joke on 19:14 - Mar 1 with 1278 viewsYou_Bloo_Right

The government want to ban Roman numerals ...... not on my watch!

Poll: Are this group of ITFC players the best squad in the division?

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A terrible joke on 19:14 - Mar 1 with 1275 viewsKeno

A terrible joke on 19:11 - Mar 1 by Nthsuffolkblue

Why are the numbers all afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.


In similar vein what cones between fear and sex

fünf

Poll: IF TWTD was a constituency who'd you vote for?
Blog: [Blog] My World Cup Reflections

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