In public toilets in Yeovil, basically, or hanging round parks in Birmingham getting done at football by kids.
You need Magick just to watch this sh*t. Or enough beer. The moment Samuel jogged out on the pitch, we were f*cked. The moment Sears came jogging off to be consoled (or propositioned) by Terry Connor, and we saw a glimpse of a tree trunk with a sweep-back warming up, you just knew we'd be lucky to cross the halfway line, let alone create a meaningful chance.
Terry my newsagent called it. "Free-Nil Forest" he said yesterday morning. Mrs Tel was visiting her dying mum in hospital, his assistant Paula was attempting to sweep the floor of the shop with her hand and wrist in plaster. "Looks painful" I offered prattishly. "Yurtiz" she said, head down. And I wondered whether my team would die as quickly tomorrow as the English language had at that moment. Little suspecting that, well, they'd roll over like dogs in piles of dogsh*t.
So it's an angry, frustrated last report of a disappointing, frustrating, stagnant, stinking cesspool of a season where the only saving graces are Bart and the fact we haven't done a Blackburn. How much longer we can maintain this status quo, given we were humiliated today by a team who have been largely sh*te all season, and we've only taken one point against everyone's whipping boys, Rotherham, is anyone's guess. Me, I'd say if we carry on recruiting from the bargain bucket and the dole queue as we seem to have been doing, we're f*cked. I know Evans doesn't like spending more than the £5 million he puts in every year to keep us from actually going bust, but we're beyond the point where you can mould faeces into the functional. We need better players.
So sat here, nice(ish) day, cold Aspalls in hand, done the lawn, dozing and letting my blood pressure simmer down from boiling point, having watched that pile of tvvats jog about second half like it's their kids they're playing on Dubai beach. Long, boring and bollox season over, looking forward to a nice break from the pain and the bitterness. Have a good summer everyone, see you again in August for another exciting edition.
Yours
Warks
7th May 2017
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