| The Warky Report: Derby (a) 20:02 - Nov 29 with 860 views | Warkystache |
I don't know what it was, but I said something and Terry suddenly convulsed and spluttered tea over the Daily Stars on his counter.
Muttering "Gawd Almighty", he went out the back to fetch the j-cloths. All I'd said was "we're three points off the play-offs" or words to that effect. Strange, the impact that statement of fact has on folk.
The Daily Stars suffered not a jot. True, they were slightly damp, but they'd have dried by the time Tel had to bag them all up again to send back to the wholesaler. He once told me he distrusted people who bought The Daily Star and the Guardian. "Nuffink in eever o'them to bleedin' see, not even a decent pair o' woods" he'd said, admittedly when tipsy.
He's in a good mood, anyway, despite backing Derby to win last night on our coupon (which has actually shagged all of our midweek bets as he had 'em in every line) because things are finally looking up. Paula starts her new job in January, despite earning a bit less from it than she does now (Tel paid well over minimum wage to keep her because she was handy when he fancied a day off). She was in the shop this morning, her pink Adidas tracksuit slightly grubby at the stomach and knees from where she'd been cleaning. I congratulated her and she sort of grunted and briefly looked up from the bottom of the Coke freezer to smile at me. Her smile was unnerving, what with her braces, like being face to face with Jaws out of 'The Spy who Loved Me' before he does your jugular.
The Birmingham weekend was a recent memory and Tel, who rates Birmingham just above Jaywick in terms of fondness (he once dated a girl from Birmingham who gave him crabs) was full of righteous indignation that I'd spent about £250 on two nights there. "Yer mad" he kept repeating; "all that way, they lost an' yer did nuffin' yer couldn'ave done in Colchester for half that". It missed the point spectacularly. He often does. But I couldn't be arsed arguing again, and I was late anyway.
Monday was my day off, and I caught up him to discuss Paula's fortune and ours, in that our combined pool of betting dosh was now up to £517. "We'll cash up at Xmas" he promised, expecting to have a square £400 each 'at least'. He still wants to put half on a horse one of his customers tipped him about on Saturday. It runs on Friday. "How well do you know this bloke?" I asked. He winked. "Not that well, not like me missus or nowt, but 'e reckoned it was a live one". Wondering if Claude Duval or Templegate had stopped by on Saturday for a packet of twenty Rothmans and a Racing Post, and a packet of Polos for the runners at Fakenham, I got excited. Then Tel said "It's 4/5 on" and the excitement dwindled like a hard-on hit with a cold spoon. F*ck me. I could've tipped him that.
So we won at Derby and lost £40 on four rows of five results at a tenner a row. Admittedly, he also thought Spurs'd beat Leicester and Charlton would do Peterborough, so it wasn't the only misjudgement. I was in the bath when Connolly scored. Brenner's voice raised an octave, then went flat as he waited for the ref to decide. My bathwater sloshed like I'd jumped in from height. Then it all sounded Derby.
I got out at half-time. The water was getting cold and I'd already pissed in it twice. I turned the local scores off and got into my dressing gown and went downstairs for a nightcap of neat Glenlivet and a bit of homemade ginger cake. I dropped off watching Gillette Soccer thingy on Sky and awoke to the results. Ours hadn't changed. "Ooh" I thought. A brave back four clean sheet. Perhaps Garner had been sent off? Perhaps we'd missed chance after chance? Good win. Now let's do their East Mids mates on Saturday. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Derby (a) on 08:54 - Nov 30 with 643 views | The_Romford_Blue |
That horse wasn't by any chance 'Thistlecrack' was it a Warky? He runs Friday and will be about 4/5. Two brilliant horses in the race but he should win. Wouldn't lump on though.
Crazy to think we are three points off the playoffs and it's December when we next play. Who'd have thought that would've been the case at the start of the season, eh? |  |
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| The Warky Report: Derby (a) on 08:58 - Nov 30 with 630 views | hype313 |
Pissing in the bath is sage advice, it means you can still keep the bath warm whilst not having to stretch to turn the tap on. |  |
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