| To bring everyone down - some advice please 12:06 - May 1 with 1402 views | Tractorboy24 |
Hi all,
Everything is bittersweet for me at the moment, the greatest time to be a Town fan in 20 plus years has been tainted by my wife deciding to end our marriage. So this being quite an alien concept having come somewhat out of the blue, I have no idea what I’m doing. The advice I’m getting is about 30 years out of date or from people who’s circumstances were different (no kids), so where better to get advice than football forum that is full of wisdom it seems.
Does anyone here have experiences to share (understand it’s a sensitive subject) or local solicitors they can recommend etc?
Thanks
Craig |  | | |  |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 13:52 - May 1 with 1134 views | Tractorboy24 |
Thanks, I’ve contacted them. | | | |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 14:44 - May 1 with 996 views | _clive_baker_ |
Really sorry to hear that Craig, it must be very difficult.
Hope things work out for you. |  | | |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 14:59 - May 1 with 925 views | Keno |
So sorry mate, not an easy time
No words of wisdom just one of many who are here if need someone to chat to anytime |  |
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| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 15:15 - May 1 with 831 views | Glory_Hunter |
Sorry to hear this Craig, genuinely.
Wish you the best for the tricky time ahead. Try to remind yourself it is a period that won't last.
(edit: may have misunderstood by thinking you mean you have no children). [Post edited 1 May 15:31]
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| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 15:25 - May 1 with 752 views | NewcyBlue |
It gets worse before it gets better.
With kids involved you really need to make sure that you say nothing negative about their mother when they are around. It is very difficult at times to do so, but it’s the right thing to do. Even if their mother is not doing so, and talking down about you to the kids, your actions need to prove otherwise.
Court is not an enjoyable process. Save all emails, text messages, etc. In all correspondence you must be polite, it’s now a business partnership. That business is raising children.
Don’t drink your emotions away, it does not help.
If you need to chat, I’m always a DM away. |  |
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| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 16:03 - May 1 with 664 views | fhb1 |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 15:25 - May 1 by NewcyBlue |
It gets worse before it gets better.
With kids involved you really need to make sure that you say nothing negative about their mother when they are around. It is very difficult at times to do so, but it’s the right thing to do. Even if their mother is not doing so, and talking down about you to the kids, your actions need to prove otherwise.
Court is not an enjoyable process. Save all emails, text messages, etc. In all correspondence you must be polite, it’s now a business partnership. That business is raising children.
Don’t drink your emotions away, it does not help.
If you need to chat, I’m always a DM away. |
I very rarely post on here, but having seen someone go through a very similar experience to you at close hand, want to verbally underline everything said above. If there's one thing that will help you and your children more than anything its the knowledge that you are acting with restrained dignity at all times.
And also important, again as stated above, is keeping records of everything that is exchanged between you and anyone involved, screenshots too of anything detrimental posted on line.
Good luck, and always talk to those you trust when you need to. | | | |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 16:09 - May 1 with 618 views | BlueandTruesince82 |
So sorry to hear that, though I've been dumped plenty of times I've never married nor had kids so can't offer much advice. I would say try not to feel like any of this is because of something you've done, obviously I don't know your circumstances but I would doubt very much it's the case. As others said try and keep it amicable for the kids sake, I know that might be hard and otherwise don't be hard on yourself . It will hurt fora while, but will get better with time. Take some time for yourself too and ask yourself what you might want to do with the next stage of your life, perhaps that's one for when the dust has settled a bit more but i think it's important |  |
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| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 16:15 - May 1 with 594 views | Blueschev |
Went through this a few years back. It's really tough at first I can't lie, but in hindsight it was definitely for the best, the kids are happier and I'm as happy as I've ever been.
My advice would be to get the kids in to a routine between you and your ex as soon as possible, never say anything negative about her around them, and try to be as civil as possible to one another around them also. |  | | |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 18:29 - May 1 with 478 views | Tractorboy24 |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 15:15 - May 1 by Glory_Hunter |
Sorry to hear this Craig, genuinely.
Wish you the best for the tricky time ahead. Try to remind yourself it is a period that won't last.
(edit: may have misunderstood by thinking you mean you have no children). [Post edited 1 May 15:31]
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You had read it right, we have kids, but my friends who have divorced didn’t have kids. Sorry, it was my writing.
I’ve even wondered how people knew my name until I realised I signed it off with my name!!! Head is fried!!! | | | |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 19:39 - May 1 with 372 views | MK1 |
| To bring everyone down - some advice please on 18:29 - May 1 by Tractorboy24 |
You had read it right, we have kids, but my friends who have divorced didn’t have kids. Sorry, it was my writing.
I’ve even wondered how people knew my name until I realised I signed it off with my name!!! Head is fried!!! |
Understandable. Try and keep the kids at the front of things, as they will be finding this harder than the adults. Hopefully your partner will be open to you seeing them as often as you can. The smoother you make it for your children, the better.
Good luck with everything and of course, please raise any questions, as there is a fountain of knowledge and experience on here. |  | | |
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