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I can just imagine the phone call 14:45 - May 24 with 3855 viewsWarkTheWarkITFC

Norwich City: 'Hello, is that Paderborn'

Paderborn: Yes, who is speaking please?'

Norwich City: 'We are calling from Norwich City, to organise a pre-season match if you are interested'.

Paderborn: 'Sorry. I didn't quite catch that'.

Norwich City: 'We are Norwich City. An English Premier League club'.

Paderborn: 'I'm very sorry. I have not heard of your club'.

Norwich City: 'Really? We are quite famous in Germany.

Paderborn: 'Are you? For what reason is this?.

Norwich City: 'In the early 90's we beat Bayern Munich'

Paderborn: 'What year was this?'

Norwich City: 'The 1993/94 season'

Paderborn: 'Let me think. Oh yes. The period right between Bayern finishing 10th in the Bundesliga and 6th in the Bundesliga, the only two seasons they finished outside the Top 4 between 1978 and 2019? That period when they were uncharacteristically poor and losing to sides they would normally be embarrassed to draw with?'

Norwich City: 'Anyhow, we beat them and as I say we are a Premier League club so you must want to play us.

Paderborn: 'I'm really sorry but I will need to go away and check out that you are who you say you are. I can't really take your word for it and like I said I have not heard of this team before. I must bid you farewell …...'

Norwich City: 'We know Ipswich!'.

Paderborn: 'You do?'.

Norwich City: 'Yeah. Er … we are actually really close'.

Paderborn 'You mean the UEFA Cup winners in 1981? Conquerers of AC Milan, Inter Milan, St Etienne, Roma, Lazio, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Feyenoord, Cologne and many other huge European teams? Scorers of TEN goals in one match in what is now the Champions League?

Norwich City 'Yep'.

Paderborn 'But we are already playing this very famous and historic team in pre-season, which our peoples are excited by. It's so easy to market a match against a huge name in European football. Can you tell me how would we market a game with your club?

Norwich City: 'Have you heard of Delia?'

Paderborn: 'No. Is that a rock band?'

Norwich City: Ed Balls?

Paderborn: ‘ Is football. All teams head balls’

Norwich City: 'Never mind. Do you watch QI'

Paderborn: 'I have not heard of this. Sorry. I mean Ipswich also had the famous players like Beattie and Wark and Mariner and the famous managers like Ramsey and Robson'

Norwich City 'I don't suppose the name Mike Walker rings a bell? Dave Stringer?

Paderborn: ‘Never heard of them’

Norwich City 'Farke!'

Paderborn 'There is absolutely no reason to be abusive. I am sorry but I really don't see how we can sell a game against, what did you say you were called 'No Rich History?'

Norwich City 'I've got it. Tell them we have BIGGER attendances than Ipswich'.

Paderborn 'Okay. We better get something in the diary right now'.
[Post edited 25 May 2019 1:23]

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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:05 - May 24 with 3705 viewsTRUE_BLUE123

I can't work out if this is funny or sad....

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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:07 - May 24 with 3688 viewsHerbivore

Get a job.

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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:09 - May 24 with 3664 viewsPJH

I can just imagine the phone call on 15:07 - May 24 by Herbivore

Get a job.


I think he has got a job as Chief thread starter of TWTD.

Must have a different TWTD contract to mine because mine does not stipulate that I have to start at least three threads a day even if I have got nothing to say.
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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:10 - May 24 with 3668 viewsSwansea_Blue

Well I liked it.


'Have you heard of Delia?'

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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:12 - May 24 with 3643 viewsJ2BLUE

Wasn't terrible but if similar appeared on WOTB we'd be laughing our tits off at how sad they are.

Truly impaired.
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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:15 - May 24 with 3622 viewsJackSted

Bored on your lunch break?

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I can just imagine the phone call on 15:58 - May 24 with 3462 viewsWestover

Brilliant and I can imagine that's what happened.😋
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I can just imagine the phone call on 20:17 - May 24 with 2927 viewsWarkTheWarkITFC

I can just imagine the phone call on 15:05 - May 24 by TRUE_BLUE123

I can't work out if this is funny or sad....


Both?

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I can just imagine the phone call on 21:39 - May 24 with 2739 views66notout

Point of order...when did Town beat Stuttgart?
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I can just imagine the phone call on 21:44 - May 24 with 2730 viewsGirthyguy

Can't remember the last time we had such an amusing post.
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I can just imagine the phone call on 22:05 - May 24 with 2684 viewsBinner

I can just imagine the phone call on 21:39 - May 24 by 66notout

Point of order...when did Town beat Stuttgart?


...and we didn't exactly conquer Barcelona.




Nevertheless, the op is a pretty good effort.

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I can just imagine the phone call on 22:40 - May 24 with 2621 viewsSuperblue95

I can just imagine the phone call on 15:05 - May 24 by TRUE_BLUE123

I can't work out if this is funny or sad....


Well it’s not funny but could definitely be described as sad

My hobbies include being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.
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I can just imagine the phone call on 23:49 - May 24 with 2510 viewsNthsuffolkblue

I can just imagine the phone call on 15:10 - May 24 by Swansea_Blue

Well I liked it.


'Have you heard of Delia?'


I liked the "No rich history" bit. Hadn't heard that one before, personally.

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I can just imagine the phone call on 00:19 - May 25 with 2461 viewswellhungphil

Superb piece of writing!
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I can just imagine the phone call on 01:19 - May 25 with 2421 viewsWarkTheWarkITFC

I can just imagine the phone call on 21:39 - May 24 by 66notout

Point of order...when did Town beat Stuttgart?


Should have read Cologne! Was talking about Stuttgart at the time I wrote it and still didn’t notice on checking! Thanks.

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I can just imagine the phone call on 20:23 - May 26 with 1702 viewsbluebud

...it's great and all, really.

Considering there are at least two ex Paderborn players playing up there it makes it nonsense though.

Also, Lippstadt is 20km away from Paderborn - Farke managed them for years.
[Post edited 26 May 2019 20:27]
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