| Anyone been through a situation like this before. 23:40 - Mar 30 with 2724 views | jpring89 |
An old girlfriend and friend of mine has recently taken her own life. For whatever reason is still yet to be known or maybe the true answer will remain a mystery. I’m really happy with my partner now don’t get me wrong but still feel if maybe things between us had been different and we were still close etc this may never of happened. Just can’t get my head around it difficult to grieve for somebody you have been with and fond of when you are with somebody else as I’m worried it will impact on my current relationship. Anyone been in a similar situation? |  |
| |  |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 23:49 - Mar 30 with 2655 views | vapour_trail |
Blimey mate.
This has happened with the brother of one of my best friends and the mum of another friend of mine. It is horrific for everyone concerned whenever this happens, in a very different way to other bereavement, and the feelings you are having demonstrate why.
For someone to do this they are pretty unwell. That’s not your fault, no matter how terrible you’ll feel about it. Best to talk about it with your missus I reckon.
All the best. |  |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 23:59 - Mar 30 with 2622 views | Guthrum |
Not to that degree. But I did have an old friend take his own life. He had been battling schitzophrenia for many years. Left a lot of guilt that we hadn't tried hard enough to help, be supportive. Hard to deal with. |  |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:00 - Mar 31 with 2618 views | jpring89 |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 23:49 - Mar 30 by vapour_trail |
Blimey mate.
This has happened with the brother of one of my best friends and the mum of another friend of mine. It is horrific for everyone concerned whenever this happens, in a very different way to other bereavement, and the feelings you are having demonstrate why.
For someone to do this they are pretty unwell. That’s not your fault, no matter how terrible you’ll feel about it. Best to talk about it with your missus I reckon.
All the best. |
I have breifly spoken to her about it but not really gone into any great depth about feelings etc. My missus is quite insecure at the best of times and just feel it could be detrimental to what we have together now. | |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:12 - Mar 31 with 2582 views | jpring89 |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 23:59 - Mar 30 by Guthrum |
Not to that degree. But I did have an old friend take his own life. He had been battling schitzophrenia for many years. Left a lot of guilt that we hadn't tried hard enough to help, be supportive. Hard to deal with. |
Every suicide case is individual and should be treated that way. My partner now who was sexually abused by her step father from the age of 10-13 eventually told her mum and he after being confronted about it took his life as a result, which she now feels responsible for. Deep and dark stuff I know but she has had the same thoughts of suicide and attempted herself fortunately without success.
A lot of people talk about suicide as being the cowards way out but until we have been pushed to the brink of implosion ourselves, who are we to pass judgement on those whos mind are driven to which it seems it’s the only answer and way out of a dark place. | |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:22 - Mar 31 with 2551 views | factual_blue |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:12 - Mar 31 by jpring89 |
Every suicide case is individual and should be treated that way. My partner now who was sexually abused by her step father from the age of 10-13 eventually told her mum and he after being confronted about it took his life as a result, which she now feels responsible for. Deep and dark stuff I know but she has had the same thoughts of suicide and attempted herself fortunately without success.
A lot of people talk about suicide as being the cowards way out but until we have been pushed to the brink of implosion ourselves, who are we to pass judgement on those whos mind are driven to which it seems it’s the only answer and way out of a dark place. |
You are in an unimaginable position: I don't think any of us can really even pretend to think what this must be like for your or your current partner.
Just do what you can to support her, and maybe seek some guidance from professionals who do know what they're talking about on the best ways you can give that support.
All the best. |  |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:31 - Mar 31 with 2523 views | HarryfromBath |
I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that time helps both you and the people in your old girlfriend's world come to terms with this sad news. I have no direct experience of a friend taking their own life but fully understand how mental illness can take its toll on people.
Attitudes have mercifully changed in recent years and many people now see suicide through the prism of compassion, both for what the person went through before taking their life and for what their friends and family are going through in the aftermath. In so many ways we are fragile and gentle creatures and I will keep you in my thoughts. |  |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:33 - Mar 31 with 2514 views | Guthrum |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:12 - Mar 31 by jpring89 |
Every suicide case is individual and should be treated that way. My partner now who was sexually abused by her step father from the age of 10-13 eventually told her mum and he after being confronted about it took his life as a result, which she now feels responsible for. Deep and dark stuff I know but she has had the same thoughts of suicide and attempted herself fortunately without success.
A lot of people talk about suicide as being the cowards way out but until we have been pushed to the brink of implosion ourselves, who are we to pass judgement on those whos mind are driven to which it seems it’s the only answer and way out of a dark place. |
Absolutely. | |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:57 - Mar 31 with 2470 views | jpring89 |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:22 - Mar 31 by factual_blue |
You are in an unimaginable position: I don't think any of us can really even pretend to think what this must be like for your or your current partner.
Just do what you can to support her, and maybe seek some guidance from professionals who do know what they're talking about on the best ways you can give that support.
All the best. |
Thank you for your support and kind words. It’s much appreciated. Its unimaginable and I for one didn’t believe I would be in this gut wrenching predicament. You just never know what is around the corner in life and what challenges we have to encounter. But I know I have to remain strong for myself and for my family and get through this torrid time. They say time is a healer of sorts but I know this experience will stay with me for my lifetime and just hope it gets easier as time goes by. | |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:10 - Mar 31 with 2439 views | StNeotsBlue |
One of my best mates threw himself off a bridge in Londonderry ( I refuse to call it Derry to spite him). To think that he got in such a place and couldn't confide in any of his mates is sickening. Hope you and yours are well. |  | | |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:30 - Mar 31 with 2394 views | The_Romford_Blue |
My best mate went to kill himself a couple of years ago. Went out in the middle of the night, stood off the top off a bridge but backed out - thankfully. I had known he was down at the time but didn’t realise the full extent. He ended up gettigef a doctors appointment and had depression. Looking back on it, he used to geg incredibly down very quickly in the months beforehand. Once after a town away game we were at Stratford station and he suddenly started balancing down the edge of the ledge - like he was in a trance. Just balancing there. Nobody on the station could believe what he was doing before me and my other mate grabbed him. He didn’t say a word. Like he was possessed. The thing is I felt guilty for not knowing. I was lucky because he has got better since but I can’t imagine how I’d have reacted had he gone through that day on the bridge during the night.
Try to focus that it’s not your fault though. Don’t blame yourself.
Obviously I can’t give any advice to your individual case Springers but if you ever want someone to talk to during the night, I’m usually awake. |  |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:31 - Mar 31 with 2395 views | connorscontract |
You're over sharing in public here. You've said confidential things about your partner. I'd encourage you to edit your posts and delete all the text in them and leave them empty.
If you want to PM me I'll be up til 2.15. Alternatively Guthrum who has posted in this thread always comes across as decent and solid and I'm sure would offer you support.
I would suggest that you talk to someone about this. It sounds to me like you have a bit of guilt that you are struggling to deal with. It is totally in order for you to contact The Samaritans, not because you might be suicidal yourself, but because they will give you a non-judgemental listening ear. Be honest with them. The more honest you can be the better. Some of your guilt may be appropriate, but probably much is misplaced or exaggerated.
Samaritans free to call number is 116123
Further help and advice for anyone upset by this thread:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ | | | |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:31 - Mar 31 with 2386 views | jpring89 |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 00:31 - Mar 31 by HarryfromBath |
I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that time helps both you and the people in your old girlfriend's world come to terms with this sad news. I have no direct experience of a friend taking their own life but fully understand how mental illness can take its toll on people.
Attitudes have mercifully changed in recent years and many people now see suicide through the prism of compassion, both for what the person went through before taking their life and for what their friends and family are going through in the aftermath. In so many ways we are fragile and gentle creatures and I will keep you in my thoughts. |
Thank you also for your support. I’m not really one for opening up about such experiences to people but just feels like a weight so to speak being lifted from my shoulders. | |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:43 - Mar 31 with 2364 views | jpring89 |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:31 - Mar 31 by connorscontract |
You're over sharing in public here. You've said confidential things about your partner. I'd encourage you to edit your posts and delete all the text in them and leave them empty.
If you want to PM me I'll be up til 2.15. Alternatively Guthrum who has posted in this thread always comes across as decent and solid and I'm sure would offer you support.
I would suggest that you talk to someone about this. It sounds to me like you have a bit of guilt that you are struggling to deal with. It is totally in order for you to contact The Samaritans, not because you might be suicidal yourself, but because they will give you a non-judgemental listening ear. Be honest with them. The more honest you can be the better. Some of your guilt may be appropriate, but probably much is misplaced or exaggerated.
Samaritans free to call number is 116123
Further help and advice for anyone upset by this thread:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ |
I will admit I probably am over sharing. The confidentiality part doesn’t really come into it unless you know me or my partner as I’ve not named anyone. Just merely sharing an experience I am going through. I’m just really seeking perhaps some sort of guidance from someone who maybe has experienced something similar in their lives and how they coped with it and moved forward. | |
| |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:52 - Mar 31 with 2345 views | connorscontract |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 01:43 - Mar 31 by jpring89 |
I will admit I probably am over sharing. The confidentiality part doesn’t really come into it unless you know me or my partner as I’ve not named anyone. Just merely sharing an experience I am going through. I’m just really seeking perhaps some sort of guidance from someone who maybe has experienced something similar in their lives and how they coped with it and moved forward. |
I'm really not having a go- but you have said very personal details about your partner which are confidential. If I were you I'd edit those bits out.
If you are 100% certain that you can't be identified then that's ok, but if anyone knows your log in name here, but didn't previously know those details about your partner then you are risking a lot. | | | |
| Anyone been through a situation like this before. on 11:35 - Mar 31 with 2007 views | Lord_Lucan |
Thankfully no.
Sounds bloody horrible.
All the very best. |  |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
