TWTD dads... 12:45 - Nov 20 with 17590 views | SitfcB | As some of you know I'm going to be one myself soon (In the next week or two, still scary to think, I know!) Now, I just want to know the 'protocol' as such on still partaking in let's say, leisure activities, not necessarily football but mostly football haha. Obviously I know I have to rein the football in a bit, especially the socialising before/after a home game, but I have booked up Sunderland away as a weekend away in Newcastle at the start of Feb, would you say this is too early to be away from mother and baby? She's obviously not happy about this and I've tried to justify it, and say she can have a weekend away or whatever. Obviously a lot of you have experience on this and some of you still went away/to football when you had newborns? [Post edited 20 Nov 2017 12:48]
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TWTD dads... on 14:46 - Nov 20 with 3692 views | PJH |
TWTD dads... on 14:41 - Nov 20 by Bluebell | “There is not a lot you can do care wise for the first year or so, nappies and feeding are the woman’s domain” Can I just mention babies are rarely breast fed for ‘a year or so’ and men can change nappies when they are a few hours old. |
I don't member my mum or dad saying that I was able to change nappies when I was a few hours old but maybe I could. Why do you think that men can learn that quickly but women can't? | | | |
TWTD dads... on 15:05 - Nov 20 with 3664 views | NewcyBlue | Football will always be there. Trust me. I spend months away, I wouldn’t give up one minute with my boy for anything. Do Sunderland, don’t do the weekend. Save your money and get your or her parents to look after SittersJr for a night and take your girlfriend for a spa or a night away. Much better than a night on the lash in Newcastle. You’ll earn major points for a football weekend away later on. | |
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TWTD dads... on 15:08 - Nov 20 with 3664 views | vapour_trail | Sitters, life doesn’t stop when you have kids. It changes but you still need to find time to do the stuff you enjoy. Obviously you have to work it out with the missus and yes getting her to clear off every now and again with you looking after the nipper works wonders. | |
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TWTD dads... on 15:08 - Nov 20 with 3661 views | Darth_Koont | I think you're better off putting your own plans on hold until the Summer. Or at least until you see how you and your partner cope. Quite a few new mothers need a lot more physical and emotional support than you'll be able to provide so not a great idea to be planning on less now. | |
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TWTD dads... on 15:12 - Nov 20 with 3651 views | vapour_trail |
TWTD dads... on 13:41 - Nov 20 by chicoazul | I've tried to justify it, and say she can have a weekend away or whatever. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA |
I don’t get this. I’m currently on the way back from a weekend in Palma with the boys. The missus was in Valencia with the girls a few weeks ago. | |
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TWTD dads... on 15:23 - Nov 20 with 3640 views | stickymockwell | It all depends on how things are at the time. The first few months are tough on the Mum. It depends on if she has a traumatic birth, breast feeding, post natal depression, what her support network is like or if she is just a bitch and doesn't want you to go! | |
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TWTD dads... on 16:05 - Nov 20 with 3606 views | HarryfromBath | Congratulations Sitters for when the big day comes - plenty of good advice on this thread for you to take on board. The only thing I would add is that full-time takes on a whole new meaning when a baby arrives. It is exhilarating and exhausting in equal measure and everything changes, including ones' priorities. Time will be a precious commodity, and both of you will need pockets of leisure time to regroup. In this light the trip away makes sense if seen in the context of you both having fair amounts of time to catch your breath. Another important factor is how available and amenable your families are to join in with the life of your new family. When my son was born, both our families were based in Dublin so we had to carry the heavy lifting pretty much on our own in the West Country. Having family around can alleviate the stress and give you much-needed flexibility. | |
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TWTD dads... on 16:09 - Nov 20 with 3603 views | Lord_Lucan |
TWTD dads... on 14:41 - Nov 20 by Bluebell | “There is not a lot you can do care wise for the first year or so, nappies and feeding are the woman’s domain” Can I just mention babies are rarely breast fed for ‘a year or so’ and men can change nappies when they are a few hours old. |
To be fair BB I think it was a valid point. Men by their nature cannot stomach nappies whereas women seem to fight over who can change the things. Men simply are not conditioned to do that. I'm probably going to be shot down in flames by the elite but generally we all find our own things to do to form an equal relationship. I would never change a nappy but in turn I wouldn't have expected my Mrs to carpet and decorate the new borns bedroom. Oh and before I get yelled at I would like to point out that I sterilised and replenished all the milk bottle things before I went out of an evening. | |
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TWTD dads... on 16:17 - Nov 20 with 3586 views | Vaughan8 | I think in the early weeks/months, you really have to help your partner out. If you think you will be at work (I don;t know what you do but i'm assuming you work) while she is looking after your baby. At weekends it is a time to have "family time" and for you to help her out a bit, take a bit of the strain. Obviously at this moment, you don't know what your baby will be like (it might be an angel? ), you don't know what the birth is going to be like. My wife's labour didn't go as planned, ended up having a c-section and struggled to do much for weeks. Also your wife might cope OK, but she might not and will need your help. Every relationship is different, but my wife would not be very pleased if I booked a weekend away a month or 2 after our baby was born. She probably would say I couldn't go haha My baby is now 6 months and has changed my life. I want to spend as much time with him as possible especially at weekends. Its just a bit of an unknown for you at the moment. One thing I do hope changes is that football/Ipswich become less important (even if only slightly! haha) It is hard work but very rewarding. I wish you good luck!! | | | |
TWTD dads... on 16:38 - Nov 20 with 3573 views | greyhound | When the baby is born you won't want to miss a minute mate. You will want evenings out but will find any excuse under the sun to be at home and support. I have to go away loads with work and a couple of nights can make you feel like you have missed a whole stage of development. | | | |
TWTD dads... on 16:44 - Nov 20 with 3572 views | Lord_Lucan |
TWTD dads... on 16:38 - Nov 20 by greyhound | When the baby is born you won't want to miss a minute mate. You will want evenings out but will find any excuse under the sun to be at home and support. I have to go away loads with work and a couple of nights can make you feel like you have missed a whole stage of development. |
I guess it's each to their own. I love kids but find the baby stage rather pointless. It's only when they start running around and developing their own character that they get interesting. IMHO of course. | |
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TWTD dads... on 16:44 - Nov 20 with 3564 views | Pinewoodblue |
TWTD dads... on 13:19 - Nov 20 by hoppy | Indeed. Yasmin had her season ticket from about 4 days old. It would've been sooner, but the ticket office wouldn't accept that she existed until we had the birth certificate, even though I had her in a baby carrier on my chest at the time. Her first away game was away at Leicester at about 11 or 12 weeks old. |
How times have changed. Youngest is 28 in January , he was also 12 weeks old when he went to his first game. Difference is they didn't require him to have a season, nor match day, ticket until the season after his first birthday. | |
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TWTD dads... on 16:50 - Nov 20 with 3561 views | NewcyBlue |
TWTD dads... on 16:09 - Nov 20 by Lord_Lucan | To be fair BB I think it was a valid point. Men by their nature cannot stomach nappies whereas women seem to fight over who can change the things. Men simply are not conditioned to do that. I'm probably going to be shot down in flames by the elite but generally we all find our own things to do to form an equal relationship. I would never change a nappy but in turn I wouldn't have expected my Mrs to carpet and decorate the new borns bedroom. Oh and before I get yelled at I would like to point out that I sterilised and replenished all the milk bottle things before I went out of an evening. |
I was changing nappies, doing feeds, bathing, doing the housework, I loved it all. Going out with Seb in the pram for walks, just Daddy and Sebby days. They were brilliant. Each different stage has its own fun! | |
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TWTD dads... on 17:06 - Nov 20 with 3536 views | BanksterDebtSlave | You shall go to the ball....... | |
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TWTD dads... on 18:13 - Nov 20 with 3488 views | hoppy |
TWTD dads... on 16:44 - Nov 20 by Pinewoodblue | How times have changed. Youngest is 28 in January , he was also 12 weeks old when he went to his first game. Difference is they didn't require him to have a season, nor match day, ticket until the season after his first birthday. |
She went to her first home game at about 5 or 6 weeks I think it was... the 12 weeks one was her first away game. I can't remember if we had to get her a ticket at Leicester, or whether I just did my coat up over the baby carrier thing as we went through the turnstiles... | |
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TWTD dads... on 18:42 - Nov 20 with 3473 views | GeoffSentence | Suck it up and count your blessings that it is happening whilst we are sht. Play-off final, Inter away, in fact all the Burley era european away games, all missed because I had my responsibilities as the father of two young children to attend to. I still haven't forgiven the feckers. | |
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TWTD dads... on 19:08 - Nov 20 with 3459 views | LeoMuff | As others have said it’s so dependent on many factors if you have good local, useful family support pretty much anything’s possible, but if you don’t and you are struggling with sleep deprivation and non stop feeding it’s pretty much all pull together 24/7 and there not much time for anything else. It’s a fantastic , fun exhausting experience, I have 20 month twins with no family support and it is exhausting but I probably belly laugh 20 x a day. On the nappy front if your mrs has a c section be prepared to do lots, there not too bad until they start solids ! | |
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TWTD dads... on 06:52 - Nov 21 with 3360 views | Warkystache | I missed out on the whole' baby' thing, so my advice probably isn't relevant and I should stick to boring everyone sh*tless with my 'reports' but a friend has four kids and he said the top tips are: 1) Do as much as you can with them while they're young. 2) 'A fair and equal share' does not mean you change a nappy once in a blue moon and then stand waiting for your medal. 3) It's all about 'response' rather than 'organisation'. Best laid plans are easily ruined by the unexpected. Learn to roll with it, 'cos you'll never anticipate anything. | |
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TWTD dads... on 07:04 - Nov 21 with 3357 views | ElderGrizzly | As someone who has a one month old and just had to go away for work for 6 days to the US, don’t underestimate how much support she’ll need and how much you’ll miss them both. Her parents moved in while i was away and helped out so the other half could catch up on sleep etc. I wouldn’t have gone away otherwise. I’d say the compromise is there already, by her saying go fo the day. Every day with a newborn is all consuming, so i can see why she may be hesitant. See how things go, but a trade off later won’t seem a good idea right now! | | | |
TWTD dads... on 07:14 - Nov 21 with 3350 views | NewcyBlue |
TWTD dads... on 07:04 - Nov 21 by ElderGrizzly | As someone who has a one month old and just had to go away for work for 6 days to the US, don’t underestimate how much support she’ll need and how much you’ll miss them both. Her parents moved in while i was away and helped out so the other half could catch up on sleep etc. I wouldn’t have gone away otherwise. I’d say the compromise is there already, by her saying go fo the day. Every day with a newborn is all consuming, so i can see why she may be hesitant. See how things go, but a trade off later won’t seem a good idea right now! |
Congrats EG! Get as much sleep as you can whilst you are away! | |
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TWTD dads... on 07:22 - Nov 21 with 3346 views | ElderGrizzly |
TWTD dads... on 07:14 - Nov 21 by NewcyBlue | Congrats EG! Get as much sleep as you can whilst you are away! |
Thanks! :) I had a couple of all night working while away, so that with the jetlag didn’t help with the sleep thing :( Back home now though and all is good! | | | |
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