| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand 14:04 - Sep 23 with 9309 views | itfcpaul |
HiÂ
Please do not think that it's possible to upset any sensible thinking person when discussing mental health issues. it's only small minded thinking or lack of knowledge and understanding that makes it difficult for some people to deal with itÂ
It hard to understand unless you have to face it in someone else or attempt to deal with it. My wife has massive mental health issues that has been brought on by many years of trauma and difficulties starting in her childhoid which came to a head because her family didnt or couldnt understand that she was ill. Telling her to snap out of it was the best they could do.Â
Mental illness affects people in many ways. Some minor and some extreme. She has gone from having a job bringing up 2 kids as a single parent while gaining a teaching qualification and running her own business to being a complete shadow of herselfÂ
It has affected her in such a way that she has epileptic type seizures and seizures which devoid her of any movement or communication like she is in a coma. She can not drive any more and has left sideed weakness which affects her ability to walk.Â
She has had to stop work through ill health which has almost killed her as she doesn't went to be ill. She has gone through the most horrendous medical assessments to gain some form of financil help abd been lucky enough to be awarded levels that show how ill she is.Â
But that is itself is a two edged sword. Yes at least people believe her but it just makes it worse as she doesn't want to be ill and wants to work but can't.Â
She can only really walk shirt distances before it gets painful to watch and painful for her. All of this is brought on by neurological problems brought on by the mental illness affecting her physicallyÂ
She cannot do anything for herself. I now work miles away from home to earn more money because of how financially it's affected us but I make sure she has all her meals prepared for her as she is not capable if making anythung herself.Â
It's hearbreaking to see her like this and not being able to stop herself hurting herself by trying to be what she thinks a normal well person can do but she can't.Â
sage is the most special woman on earth especially putting up with me but she is so unwell it's scary. Everything we planned to do together is on hold. We book events in advance knowing that we can decide only on the day if she is well enough to go.Â
We have missed out on so much because of this illness. People just don't get it and how it affects the sufferers themselves and the loved ones around them.Â
Please if you have any humility in you as a person please try and understand how people with such illnesses are. They are broken and devastated and gutted that life has done this to them. Be there for them and support them where you can because from many examples families are the ones who seem particularly prone to non support in these circumstances.Â
I hope that this post doesn't get ridiculed in any way. I think I needed to say something because I have been involved in this type of situation now for a couple of years now and it's draining on everyone and tests relationships and friendships and you certainly see who your real friends are.Â
Thank you for reading and hope you don't think it's patronising for me to say these things. It's meant to make people think that there are people out there that are dealing with mental illness and that it is a cruel way to be ill as the brain is a very clever but manipulative organ that can cause devastation.Â
If anyone wants to chat or comment but doesn't want to do it via this thread then please PM me.Â
Thank youÂ
PS: we were going to the Leeds game today but today is an extremely bad day today so she's in bed again physically exhausted so have to keep an eye on the score in some other way.Â
COYB
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 15:19 - Sep 23 with 3413 views | RedWhiteAndBLUE |
No personal experience of this so can't comment but all the best to you both. |  | | |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 17:38 - Sep 23 with 3366 views | itfcpaul |
Thank you for huge support following myvpost today | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 17:50 - Sep 23 with 3361 views | TRUE_BLUE123 |
Best wishes to you and your wife. I'm sure this post will be helpful to many so for that I thank you sir. |  |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 17:55 - Sep 23 with 3350 views | BerlinBlue |
Thanks for sharing Paul. I think any one of us is susceptible to being grabbed in the talons of mental illness. People would do well to consider that before dismissing it or those who do suffer from it.
I wish you and your wife all the very best. |  | | |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 18:07 - Sep 23 with 3332 views | Throbbe |
Sorry I can't offer anything more than sympathy. Best wishes to both of you, and I hope she can find something that alleviates her symptoms. |  |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 18:18 - Sep 23 with 3315 views | little_boy_blue |
Best wishes to you and your wife. I hope at some point it gets easier for you both. | | | |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 21:53 - Sep 23 with 3264 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 17:50 - Sep 23 by TRUE_BLUE123 |
Best wishes to you and your wife. I'm sure this post will be helpful to many so for that I thank you sir. |
I just think sometimes the issues of mental illness are something that people think they will never have to deal with
I thought the same and was not prepared for the devastation it has caused | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 22:20 - Sep 23 with 3245 views | itfcpaul |
Thank you for all your replies
It's amazing that people who I don't know seem to give more concern that family members and friends seem to | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 23:11 - Sep 23 with 3226 views | Bent_double |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 22:20 - Sep 23 by itfcpaul |
Thank you for all your replies
It's amazing that people who I don't know seem to give more concern that family members and friends seem to |
Best wishes to you and your wife - I hope she is able to get all the care she deserves and needs where you live.
Whatever you do, don't move to Norfolk - the mental health services around here are cronically underfunded and under-staffed.
I'm in a similar situation to you in that my wife suffers from a severe mental illness and is a shadow of the person I married, but unfortunately she/we don't get all the help she needs here.
Maybe we should start a TWTD Mental Health Support Group!! |  |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 23:17 - Sep 23 with 3222 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 23:11 - Sep 23 by Bent_double |
Best wishes to you and your wife - I hope she is able to get all the care she deserves and needs where you live.
Whatever you do, don't move to Norfolk - the mental health services around here are cronically underfunded and under-staffed.
I'm in a similar situation to you in that my wife suffers from a severe mental illness and is a shadow of the person I married, but unfortunately she/we don't get all the help she needs here.
Maybe we should start a TWTD Mental Health Support Group!! |
Maybe that's a good idea!!
My wife apart from having severe depression and had a complete mental breakdown Christmas 2015 has now been diagnosed with 2 things. both fairly new. Non Epileptic Attack Disorder and FIND
Fortunately one if the experts in the country is based at Sheffield which is not too far from us and we are awaiting an appointment to access the therapy. so may be things will improve after that | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 05:08 - Sep 24 with 3182 views | Ryorry |
My heart goes out to you both, and as far as I'm concerned Paul, you're an absolute bloomin hero. Some may think that's a tad ott, but to me, all carers are unsung (mostly) heroes, as it's often a round the 24-hour clock job, 365 days a year, unpaid, and with little or no support. I hope from somewhere, somehow, you're able to get a bit of respite cover so that you can have at least a half day, or an evening a week or whatever, for some time and space for yourself?
I really like the sound of a TWTD support group off the main forum - could perhaps be done informally, with people linking up on a closed fb page or something like that? It's actually the thing the forum dies most brilliiantly imho, not least because of the courage of people like yourself and Libby in speaking out. Top men both of you. Please give your wife my best wishes and a virtual hug from another ex-social worker. |  |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 10:39 - Sep 24 with 3141 views | TLA |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 05:08 - Sep 24 by Ryorry |
My heart goes out to you both, and as far as I'm concerned Paul, you're an absolute bloomin hero. Some may think that's a tad ott, but to me, all carers are unsung (mostly) heroes, as it's often a round the 24-hour clock job, 365 days a year, unpaid, and with little or no support. I hope from somewhere, somehow, you're able to get a bit of respite cover so that you can have at least a half day, or an evening a week or whatever, for some time and space for yourself?
I really like the sound of a TWTD support group off the main forum - could perhaps be done informally, with people linking up on a closed fb page or something like that? It's actually the thing the forum dies most brilliiantly imho, not least because of the courage of people like yourself and Libby in speaking out. Top men both of you. Please give your wife my best wishes and a virtual hug from another ex-social worker. |
TWTD has been an amazing community in supporting each other around the subject of mental health.
It's something I've talked about to Mind, particularly in the context of their anti-stigma work.
My own campaign - 12thMan.org.uk - is small but gaining momentum. The club have been very receptive to working with us and we should have the 12th Man gazebo at the Forest and Sheffield Utd home games, as well as appearing on Life's a Pitch and having a piece in the programme on those days. All small steps but we're getting somewhere.
I'd definitely be interested in helping with an off-shoot TWTD online support programme of some sort. |  | | |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 13:33 - Sep 24 with 3104 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 10:39 - Sep 24 by TLA |
TWTD has been an amazing community in supporting each other around the subject of mental health.
It's something I've talked about to Mind, particularly in the context of their anti-stigma work.
My own campaign - 12thMan.org.uk - is small but gaining momentum. The club have been very receptive to working with us and we should have the 12th Man gazebo at the Forest and Sheffield Utd home games, as well as appearing on Life's a Pitch and having a piece in the programme on those days. All small steps but we're getting somewhere.
I'd definitely be interested in helping with an off-shoot TWTD online support programme of some sort. |
I think wherever support can be found it's important for it to be available to those that are in need of it
for those who aren't aware of the way mental illness affects every aspect of every day life just a little education or understanding goes a long way | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:45 - Sep 24 with 3076 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 10:39 - Sep 24 by TLA |
TWTD has been an amazing community in supporting each other around the subject of mental health.
It's something I've talked about to Mind, particularly in the context of their anti-stigma work.
My own campaign - 12thMan.org.uk - is small but gaining momentum. The club have been very receptive to working with us and we should have the 12th Man gazebo at the Forest and Sheffield Utd home games, as well as appearing on Life's a Pitch and having a piece in the programme on those days. All small steps but we're getting somewhere.
I'd definitely be interested in helping with an off-shoot TWTD online support programme of some sort. |
How do you think we could put something together
I would love to think I can support others as well as my beautiful wife | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 15:19 - Sep 24 with 3064 views | TLA |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:45 - Sep 24 by itfcpaul |
How do you think we could put something together
I would love to think I can support others as well as my beautiful wife |
I'll give it some thought. I would quite like to add an interactive function to my website - 12thMan.org.uk - it will need a little investment of both time and money but it might be an option. Maybe I'll have a word with Phil and Gav.
It's a lovely sentiment to want to support other people. [Post edited 24 Sep 2017 15:37]
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 15:23 - Sep 24 with 3063 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 15:19 - Sep 24 by TLA |
I'll give it some thought. I would quite like to add an interactive function to my website - 12thMan.org.uk - it will need a little investment of both time and money but it might be an option. Maybe I'll have a word with Phil and Gav.
It's a lovely sentiment to want to support other people. [Post edited 24 Sep 2017 15:37]
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I just think that the more people like us do the easier it will be | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 18:37 - Sep 24 with 3020 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 05:08 - Sep 24 by Ryorry |
My heart goes out to you both, and as far as I'm concerned Paul, you're an absolute bloomin hero. Some may think that's a tad ott, but to me, all carers are unsung (mostly) heroes, as it's often a round the 24-hour clock job, 365 days a year, unpaid, and with little or no support. I hope from somewhere, somehow, you're able to get a bit of respite cover so that you can have at least a half day, or an evening a week or whatever, for some time and space for yourself?
I really like the sound of a TWTD support group off the main forum - could perhaps be done informally, with people linking up on a closed fb page or something like that? It's actually the thing the forum dies most brilliiantly imho, not least because of the courage of people like yourself and Libby in speaking out. Top men both of you. Please give your wife my best wishes and a virtual hug from another ex-social worker. |
Thank you
I'm not sure what I'm doing right or wrong half the time with how she reacts it's like living with 2 people
It doesn't help that my wife and my daughter who has Aspergers clash as well as neither of them as much control over certain things they do
has anyone ever heard of or come across NEAD or FIND? | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 22:33 - Sep 24 with 2977 views | itfcpaul |
| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:13 - Sep 23 by chicoazul |
Best wishes to you and your wife. |
Does anyone know about the AccessCard and its benefits ar Portman Road? | |
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| Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 08:20 - Sep 25 with 2937 views | itfcpaul |
If anyone wants to discuss this subject other than on here please PM me | |
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