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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand 14:04 - Sep 23 with 9310 viewsitfcpaul

Hi 

Please do not think that it's possible to upset any sensible thinking person when discussing mental health issues. it's only small minded thinking or lack of knowledge and understanding that makes it difficult for some people to deal with it 

It hard to understand unless you have to face it in someone else or attempt to deal with it. My wife has massive mental health issues that has been brought on by many years of trauma and difficulties starting in her childhoid which came to a head because her family didnt or couldnt understand that she was ill. Telling her to snap out of it was the best they could do. 

Mental illness affects people in many ways. Some minor and some extreme. She has gone from having a job bringing up 2 kids as a single parent while gaining a teaching qualification and running her own business to being a complete shadow of herself 

It has affected her in such a way that she has epileptic type seizures and seizures which devoid her of any movement or communication like she is in a coma. She can not drive any more and has left sideed weakness which affects her ability to walk. 

She has had to stop work through ill health which has almost killed her as she doesn't went to be ill. She has gone through the most horrendous medical assessments to gain some form of financil help abd been lucky enough to be awarded levels that show how ill she is. 

But that is itself is a two edged sword. Yes at least people believe her but it just makes it worse as she doesn't want to be ill and wants to work but can't. 

She can only really walk shirt distances before it gets painful to watch and painful for her. All of this is brought on by neurological problems brought on by the mental illness affecting her physically 

She cannot do anything for herself. I now work miles away from home to earn more money because of how financially it's affected us but I make sure she has all her meals prepared for her as she is not capable if making anythung herself. 

It's hearbreaking to see her like this and not being able to stop herself hurting herself by trying to be what she thinks a normal well person can do but she can't. 

sage is the most special woman on earth especially putting up with me but she is so unwell it's scary. Everything we planned to do together is on hold. We book events in advance knowing that we can decide only on the day if she is well enough to go. 

We have missed out on so much because of this illness. People just don't get it and how it affects the sufferers themselves and the loved ones around them. 

Please if you have any humility in you as a person please try and understand how people with such illnesses are. They are broken and devastated and gutted that life has done this to them. Be there for them and support them where you can because from many examples families are the ones who seem particularly prone to non support in these circumstances. 

I hope that this post doesn't get ridiculed in any way. I think I needed to say something because I have been involved in this type of situation now for a couple of years now and it's draining on everyone and tests relationships and friendships and you certainly see who your real friends are. 

Thank you for reading and hope you don't think it's patronising for me to say these things. It's meant to make people think that there are people out there that are dealing with mental illness and that it is a cruel way to be ill as the brain is a very clever but manipulative organ that can cause devastation. 

If anyone wants to chat or comment but doesn't want to do it via this thread then please PM me. 

Thank you 

PS: we were going to the Leeds game today but today is an extremely bad day today so she's in bed again physically exhausted so have to keep an eye on the score in some other way. 

COYB



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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:13 - Sep 23 with 5847 viewschicoazul

Best wishes to you and your wife.

In the spirit of reconciliation and happiness at the end of the Banter Era (RIP) and as a result of promotion I have cleared out my ignore list. Look forwards to reading your posts!
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:14 - Sep 23 with 5835 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:13 - Sep 23 by chicoazul

Best wishes to you and your wife.


Thank you

P

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:15 - Sep 23 with 5831 viewsgt81

I have had mental health issues and also worked in mental health for 11 years. It's a tough one.

Out of interest, what was the turning point for her, as in, she did well for herself but then succumbed quite drastically. Such cases are usually the most difficult to understand and get a grip on.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:17 - Sep 23 with 5804 viewschristiand

Sorry to read this ITFCPaul. Keep supporting your wife, she'll get through it knowing you are there for her. The mind is a complete labyrinth and so complex! Hopefully a positive result today will help in some way to cheer you both up. Keep strong!!

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:17 - Sep 23 with 5805 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:15 - Sep 23 by gt81

I have had mental health issues and also worked in mental health for 11 years. It's a tough one.

Out of interest, what was the turning point for her, as in, she did well for herself but then succumbed quite drastically. Such cases are usually the most difficult to understand and get a grip on.


It was a culmination of lots of things
Childhood abuse which was hurried extremely deep
pathetic parenting
job losses
divorce
redundancies
father passing away
family not believing her

lots really

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:19 - Sep 23 with 5791 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:17 - Sep 23 by christiand

Sorry to read this ITFCPaul. Keep supporting your wife, she'll get through it knowing you are there for her. The mind is a complete labyrinth and so complex! Hopefully a positive result today will help in some way to cheer you both up. Keep strong!!


I appreciate your kind thoughts

Good result today will mean more for me than her but she joins in. her father was a pro footballer but never got to support him so it's her turn now

We've been to 4 games this season so doing well so far

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:20 - Sep 23 with 5780 viewsjeera

It can't be easy for you to cope with either.

Well done for keeping it together.

Let's hope you both find some answers.

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:21 - Sep 23 with 5770 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:20 - Sep 23 by jeera

It can't be easy for you to cope with either.

Well done for keeping it together.

Let's hope you both find some answers.


It's not

but when you love someone you will do anything for them

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:23 - Sep 23 with 5758 viewsgt81

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:17 - Sep 23 by itfcpaul

It was a culmination of lots of things
Childhood abuse which was hurried extremely deep
pathetic parenting
job losses
divorce
redundancies
father passing away
family not believing her

lots really


Is she getting help for any of these things?

I imagine the family stuff is the most difficult, that's where I'd focus, although I work in pharmacy rather than the front line so I don't know where help would begin.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:24 - Sep 23 with 5740 viewsBergholtBru

I`m sure most on here will take on board all you say. Best wishes to you both.

Offended you I have. A sh@t I do not give.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:25 - Sep 23 with 5726 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:23 - Sep 23 by gt81

Is she getting help for any of these things?

I imagine the family stuff is the most difficult, that's where I'd focus, although I work in pharmacy rather than the front line so I don't know where help would begin.


She is but when the majority of it is mental issues it's extremely hard. We are seeing the right people for her but the one that's hard is the Neuro psychological stuff. taking ages to get an appointment

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:26 - Sep 23 with 5712 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:24 - Sep 23 by BergholtBru

I`m sure most on here will take on board all you say. Best wishes to you both.


Thankyou

but it is the minority of posters that cause most of the issues

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:27 - Sep 23 with 5700 viewsFixed_It

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:21 - Sep 23 by itfcpaul

It's not

but when you love someone you will do anything for them


She's lucky to have found someone who understands and cares. Best of luck to both of you - and thanks for sharing your story to help others appreciate the issue more.

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:28 - Sep 23 with 5698 viewsgroovyASH

I am a social worker and a lot of the individuals I work with have had, or continue to have, mental health issues. The problems they face may appear to be invisible but they are not; the impacts on their life outcomes, extended family and friends, and the social stigma they have to work through can result in an incredibly difficult life.

Having said that working with these individuals and supporting them to some sort of recovery or coping is a very rewarding job.

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:30 - Sep 23 with 5673 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:27 - Sep 23 by Fixed_It

She's lucky to have found someone who understands and cares. Best of luck to both of you - and thanks for sharing your story to help others appreciate the issue more.


I appreciate your support

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on 14:30 - Sep 23 with 5656 views_

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:32 - Sep 23 with 5639 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:28 - Sep 23 by groovyASH

I am a social worker and a lot of the individuals I work with have had, or continue to have, mental health issues. The problems they face may appear to be invisible but they are not; the impacts on their life outcomes, extended family and friends, and the social stigma they have to work through can result in an incredibly difficult life.

Having said that working with these individuals and supporting them to some sort of recovery or coping is a very rewarding job.


She worked with Social workers and Court of Protection dealing with those less fortunate in that they couldnt deal with issues. She is gutted as she now feels like she is one of those she helped before

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:33 - Sep 23 with 5623 viewsitfcpaul

on 14:30 - Sep 23 by _



I do try!

Same applies

May live in Doncaster but always there for anyone who needs support

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:41 - Sep 23 with 5574 viewsgt81

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:25 - Sep 23 by itfcpaul

She is but when the majority of it is mental issues it's extremely hard. We are seeing the right people for her but the one that's hard is the Neuro psychological stuff. taking ages to get an appointment


Well hopefully things will improve for her sooner rather than later. Got to keep her focused on the times she did well in spite of the difficulties.

I've seen the cutbacks in mental health services and it's infuriating.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:43 - Sep 23 with 5565 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:41 - Sep 23 by gt81

Well hopefully things will improve for her sooner rather than later. Got to keep her focused on the times she did well in spite of the difficulties.

I've seen the cutbacks in mental health services and it's infuriating.


Thank you for your wishes

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:43 - Sep 23 with 5561 viewsloyalfan

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:33 - Sep 23 by itfcpaul

I do try!

Same applies

May live in Doncaster but always there for anyone who needs support


Sorry to hear about your Wife. Mental Health issues are hard to deal with and people can say such insensitive things. Been there myself and know how difficult it is to be positive. Thinking of you both.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:44 - Sep 23 with 5557 viewsTLA

Thanks for sharing something that's obviously so painful for both of you. There is not much as powerful as personal experiences being communicated when it comes to helping people understand the complexities of mental illness.

I have no doubt that you will continue to look after your wife but be sure to look after yourself too.

Thanks again.
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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:45 - Sep 23 with 5548 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:43 - Sep 23 by loyalfan

Sorry to hear about your Wife. Mental Health issues are hard to deal with and people can say such insensitive things. Been there myself and know how difficult it is to be positive. Thinking of you both.


Thank you for your thoughts

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:46 - Sep 23 with 5542 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:44 - Sep 23 by TLA

Thanks for sharing something that's obviously so painful for both of you. There is not much as powerful as personal experiences being communicated when it comes to helping people understand the complexities of mental illness.

I have no doubt that you will continue to look after your wife but be sure to look after yourself too.

Thanks again.


Thank you

I've heard good support things about you

keep fighting the cause

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Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 15:16 - Sep 23 with 5477 viewsitfcpaul

Mental Health issues and thoughts to those who don't understand on 14:28 - Sep 23 by groovyASH

I am a social worker and a lot of the individuals I work with have had, or continue to have, mental health issues. The problems they face may appear to be invisible but they are not; the impacts on their life outcomes, extended family and friends, and the social stigma they have to work through can result in an incredibly difficult life.

Having said that working with these individuals and supporting them to some sort of recovery or coping is a very rewarding job.


Anything you can suggest would help x

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