|Beware the Man With a Plan|
Written by ElephantintheRoom on Sunday, 27th Jan 2019 14:14
“I love it when a plan comes together”, a gurning George Peppard was fond of saying every week on that cult 80s TV show, The A-Team.
And back at the start of this century, so were a justifiably smug David Sheepshanks and delighted Ipswich Town fans. Because the much-publicised, far-sighted and wonderful Five-Year Plan of our much-admired chairman had just come to fruition with defeat of mighty Barnsley in the Championship play-offs. We were Premier League! Yes indeed, how we all loved it when a Five-Year Plan came together.
But did it really? The other day, out of curiosity, I started googling Sheepshanks’ Five-Year Plan. Rather like the man himself, I could find little substance. It seemed back then, and seems even more now, all rather vague. And highly questionable.
Yes, we apparently needed a reboot, having been relegated in fine style. Ours was you’ll recall, one of the most humbling and spectacularly deserved relegations ever. The 9-0 debacle at Old Trafford being a case in point.
But people tend to forget the 3-2 win for Town in the return fixture that effectively denied United the league. It showed there was real talent and commitment lurking somewhere deep within a demoralised team, IF only it could be encouraged to develop and grow.
But after such a spectacular fall from grace, expectations were not particularly high back then – inside or outside Portman Road. The omens were far from good at the start of the 1995/96 season, a 1-0 win against Crystal Palace, was watched by just 12,681 fans, with the Londoners bringing a fair few.
Worse quickly followed. 8,256 saw Town dumped out of the League Cup by Stockport County in one of those ‘were you there?’ moments that seemingly define the purgatory of football support. By the end of the season there was to be a 25 per cent drop in the average attendances. Clearly Town not only needed a plan – they needed a very good plan indeed.
Against this backdrop, Sheepshanks, Burley et al gathered for tea and biscuits – with I suspect a flip chart, to do some blue sky thinking, run ideas up flagpoles etc. I would love to have been a fly on the wall in that seminal meeting when the great men sat together and mulled over Town’s future. “Can we get promoted this year?” Cue embarrassed looks and sideways glances. “What about next year? Or the year after that?” Cue much thumb twiddling and perhaps an “Och, maybe,” or two. Eventually they decided on five years. But what was the plan that would deliver on this long-sighted aim?
Clearly there was one. It seems to have centred on deep thinking like “let’s not sack any of us” and “let’s give ourselves lots of time”. But it all seems somewhat ethereal and short of substance. Yes, there was a commitment to live within our linited means and grow organically. But heck, that was hardly startling thinking, with the gifts of Richard Wright and James Scowcroft emerging – and a skinny little kid called Kieron Dyer also on the immediate horizon. It was actually the way the club had been run since the year dot.
Plus of course the forgotten makeweight in the bizarre Adrian Paz deal was somehow transforming into one of the most popular Town players ever. But did that Five-Year Plan include bringing in Bryan Hamilton and Stewart Houston to help George Burley manage? Or miss gilt-edged chances to go up? I doubt it.
Add all those ingredients into a team that could beat the league champions on merit and you’d think five years was perhaps a little distant, a little unambitious perhaps.
And so it proved with the play-offs missed by the narrowest of margins. Having said that, if we forget the Milwall game, it was suddenly a good time to be a Town supporter again. And the almost-good times kept rolling on as the play-offs came and went in an annual form of ritual self-torture. Even Sheepy helping to change the rules so we couldn’t be beaten on away goals didn’t seem to work.
And then, miraculously, right on cue after five years, it actually happened. Then what? Clearly not another five-year plan, though that might have been sensible. Nor even a “I say, let’s not lose our heads chaps” caveat added to the first. Instead a sort of hapless muddle took over, almost from day one. But there was a vision of sorts.
Maybe you have forgotten The THREE-Year Plan? First floated I think at a somewhat comical shareholders’ meeting in the Centre Spot restaurant towards the end of 2000. There a less than ambitious target of European football was set out to a somewhat underwhelmed audience. Gob-smackingly audacious now, I’ll agree, but given that Town’s Premier League season had taken off to a startling degree, Sheepshanks could have targeted winning the Champions League as a viable option with little obvious dissent.
But the Sheepy of that far-off night was one you would scarcely recognise. His mantra was all about keeping ‘feet firmly on the floor’ and ‘consolidation’. Then on to more important matters like remuneration for the board, to be agreed by a remuneration committee (Sheepy was remember awarded a £250,000 bonus on top of his £125,000 salary for all his hard work that year).
I can’t remember the salient points in The Three-Year Plan. Clearly it was not a great success. A share issue was blithely discussed. And the transfer of Gert Verheyen, which you may also have quietly forgotten. The Three-Year Plan didn’t include relegation or insolvency, that’s for sure. But I do recall Sheepy brushing aside concern about income from transfers. The buzzword for the Three-Year Plan was consolidation. If only he had listened to his own words.
Clearly things could have been very different. If only the Five-Year plan had been a three-year plan – and the Three-Year plan had been a five-year plan that was actually acted on. Imagine that? Perhaps our recent football-supporting lives would have panned out very differently. But one thing was for sure, when Town plummeted from fifth place to relegation and were staring insolvency in the face - a new plan would be required, with some urgency.
And when it came, it was a belter. Not a Three-Year Plan – but a Three-Point Plan. With an almighty sting in its tail as it happens. But more of that later. Now I do remember the Three-Point Plan very well. It went as follows:
Quite startlingly inept you might think, given the cataclysm Town were now facing – more pie-in-the-sky thinking, than blue sky thinking. But it came with a minor caveat. First chaps, we’ll have to go into administration. In other words, one year on from receiving a £250,000 bonus for doing little more than ride the crest of a wave, Sheepshanks had piloted Town firmly and irretrievably on to the rocks.
Of course, the hopelessly inadequate Three-Point Plan went belly up in double quick time too. Which left only one plan on the table. “Don’t panic!”. It was about that time that certain people, myself included, somewhat bizarrely received what amounted to a begging letter from Ipswich Town because we were allegedly ‘high net worth’ individuals. I had that letter framed and kept it in my toilet for many years.
Alas there must have been many other dodgy names on that highly-suspect mailing list, including presumably, Michael Anderson who humiliatingly showed Sheepy’s increasingly desperate search for new money was perhaps not as thorough as it might have been.
Still needs must and just as the point of no return beckoned again, Sheepy found providence in the form of Marcus Evans. It promised to be a perfect match. On the one hand a destitute club, rich in history, veneered with a glossy and tempting illusion of potential riches to come, but desperate to sell.
On the other an utterly unknown chancer of almost invisible status looking for another easy buck. It mattered not one jot that the Marcus Evans Group, from what little was apparent, was the exact antithesis of Ipswich Town. Nobody even stopped to ask Marcus Evans if he might perhaps put in an appearance, let alone provide a solid business plan or declare his intentions. He had money – and that was more than enough. And so an inglorious new chapter in the club’s history had begun.
Plan A, of the new era, such as it was, appeared to be quietly get rid of all the in-house people with football expertise (if you could call it that, given the evidence of the past couple of years) and replace them with people with little idea of what they were doing – then throw some money at them. Harsh perhaps – but not far from the truth.
It all seemed a little vague. And there seemed very little sign of our new leader, who appeared something of an illusion compared to the high-profile, self-publicising visionary we were used to seeing (and endlessly hearing from) in the hot seat. Hell, for the first few years I reckon if I hired a helicopter and flew into Portman Road, declaring myself to be master businessman Marcus Evans, nobody would have been any the wiser. I half suspect somebody did exactly that.
Then after a few years of apparently rudderless thinking – we heard from the great man himself. He did exist after all. And he had a plan. Not just any plan – but a FIVE-POINT PLAN no less. Here it is in all its glory:
* To provide a significant ongoing financial commitment to the Club’s Academy, enabling a steady flow of players into the first-team
* To provide a sustainable and competitive squad salary budget
*To make annual investment funds available to purchase players in the early stages of their career and to assist in their development
*Maintaining a stable management and coaching team
*To develop a team to play attractive and exciting football
Now you could argue that is more of a wish list than a plan – and a little short of detail perhaps considering this was now the end of 2016.
It’s also quite amusing to look back at this master plan with the benefit of hindsight. Let’s see… stable management and coaching team? Well, with just three wholesale changes in two years we’re clearly right on schedule.
Invest in the academy? Well at the last count (today) there weren’t any academy players in the team at all. Assist in the development of lower league players? You can count them on one hand, unlike the constant stream of loans and duds through the revolving door. Attractive football? Well yes, Mr McCarthy won’t be getting off the bus any more soon, if offered a 0-0 draw, no siree!
But shortly before this magnificent piece of strategic thinking from the dark lord of a mysterious and shadowy international business empire, we had been given yet another plan – this time a Five-Year Academy Plan. And once again the plan was a pearler, heralding great things in the tantalisingly close, but still quite distant future.
At the start of the 2014/15 season it was decreed from on high that within the next five years, Ipswich Town Football Club intends to have 50 per cent of their squad made up of players from its own academy.
Now you couldn’t really quibble with this laudable aim. It would be nice to substitute the mealy-mouthed ‘squad’ with a more ambitious ‘first team’ perhaps, rather than assemble eager young players to be loaned out somewhere ghastly, but fair dues. Four years (and three managers plus their hangers-on) later of course we are as far away as ever, with a team top heavy with short-term loans and temps.
In fact, despite the great Paul Lambert Love-In, all those right-on soundbites, the recent team at Blackburn had no homegrown players whatsoever. He even recently declared the fabled academy was not producing players to play the Lambert Way. Once again it shows there is no point whatsoever in a plan unless you try and keep to it – and try at least a token attempt to achieve it.
BUT, irony of ironies. Imagine IF it all goes pear-shaped and Town get relegated and the finances implode again. All those short-term, pointless signings Lambert assembled in January will be gone. By serendipity Town may actually have to start playing their own homegrown players. Relegation might make this now seemingly utterly unattainable Five-Year Academy Plan attainable in the blink of an eye. Again.
It is not unthinkable that next season Town might actually have a team containing a plethora of homegrown players. But arrived at yet again thanks to incompetence and accident - not thanks to that Five-Year Academy Plan. IF that happens another five-year plan will have ingloriously fulfilled itself just as Sheepshanks’s plan so gloriously fulfilled itself. By accident.
Just recently we have heard an awful lot from Paul Lambert – and even, glory be, a little bit more from Marcus Evans. Even as the team flounders they clearly want you to know that safe hands are firmly on the tiller. When deeds are failing, it’s time for honeyed words. Who knows, even now they may be running some ideas up flagpoles. No flip chart this time of course, because any discussions will probably be from different offices on different continents via Skype or Whatsapp.
Please report offensive, libellous or inappropriate posts by using the links provided.
Blogs by ElephantintheRoom
Blogs 269 bloggers
Hello Old Friend - AFC Wimbledon Home Preview by portmantales
AFC Wimbledon make their first ever trip down to Portman Road in their current guise tonight on the back of the greatest escape in their club’s short history.
Football's Financial Crisis by Stowmarket
I have been watching English football for over 40 years, from top-tier to non-league. In that time it has faced many low points, including mass hooliganism and stadium deaths in tragedies such as Hillsborough and Valley Parade.
Green’Un With Envy by ElephantintheRoom
I guess you have to be of a certain age to remember the Green’Un. Those brought up in the era of the Internet might struggle to understand the excitement of hearing a possibly still-damp newspaper of greenish hue drop through the letter box on a Saturday evening.
Return of the Posh Messiah? - Peterborough Away Preview by portmantales
Classic standing terraces, a reckless Lee Martin and of course Darren Ferguson. These are the things that first come to mind when I think of Peterborough.
Heart of Darkness by Stowmarket
Joseph Conrad’s short novel Heart of Darkness is one of my favourite books. It is based on the real events which the writer experienced first-hand while travelling up the Congo river. It asks serious questions about empire-building and racism.