|Anger is Not a Good Emotion|
Written by TimS on Friday, 28th Sep 2018 22:58
I am starting to realise that as I grow older, I am harking back to a period of my life which seemed to be idyllic, but it probably was totally different in reality.
Because I can't head back to the past, I start to resent the present and get angry about the ever changing nature of life and the world of football resenting change but I have to understand that anger is not a good emotion.
I had seriously thought about going to Birmingham tomorrow (or on Saturday depending on when you are reading this article.) I live on the Chiltern railway line that travels to Birmingham and I thought that it would be a great distration activity as I gee myself up for the first ever half-marathon that I will run on Sunday.
I so wanted to see Paul Hurst's team with the hope that this Town side will actually get their first win of the season. But sadly I have no enthusiasm and that feeling of apathy is seriously tearing me up in side when I think of Ipswich Town Football Club at the moment. I get angry when I read articles about my club and it is just not a good place to be. Anger is not a good emotion.
I don't enjoy reading other people's criticism about the team. I do not revel in the miseries of our club like some of us seem to do and I so want Town to do well and recreate those brief, possibly historical, moments of my lifetime when Ipswich Town as a whole town and the whole county of Suffolk were buzzing about the team.
I wrote about my frustrations earlier in 2018, within days and hours Mick McCarthy resigned. I would love to think that the power of my keyboard caused McCarthy to believe that the game was up but I suspect that was not the case.
In fact, whoever was the manager was not of interest to me. For me, leadership of the club from the boardroom was key for me, and I wanted to hear from the mysterious Mr Evans. You could put me in the dugout to get us a win for all I care. I just wanted to be inspired by Mr Evans, the owner of our great club. I did not want to be angry about Mr Evans because anger is not a good emotion.
Maybe Mr Evans might have read my articles and decided to face the cameras after McCarthy resigned. This afternoon, I reminded myself of the media coverage and fan's comments of this seemingly tightly controlled video.
There is no question that Mr Evans came across as a pleasant man in the video and answered the Ipswich Town's staffer's comments competently and as best as he wanted to.
But the interview did nothing for me at the time and still does nothing for me now. I can imagine meeting Mr Evans in the pub of a gastropub somewhere along the Suffolk Coast but I wanted to get a sense of where he wanted to take the club. Why should I bother caring about the club? How could I be proud of my club again?
But I accepted that I was possibly the odd one out. Reports and fans praised Mr Evans's perfect timing for this interview. He underestood the heartbeat of the fans and we should just shut up and look forward to the future. After all, anger and cynicism were not good emotions
We got told that a new era was beginning. This was an important moment for our great club. There was loose talk that this was going to be Bobby Robson mark two over again. We would take a young inexperienced manager under our wing and then we would be great again as we were in the 1970s and early 1980s.
I continued to see the same black and white picture of a very young Robson shaking hands with the Cobbolds somewhere near the football ground. Conscious that you really have to be at least 50 years old to really appreciate the whole of the Robson era, aged 38 as I am, I could not comment.
I was prepared to believe the hype and the loose historical talk. Maybe lightning could strike twice and I so wanted that to happen without any real appreciation that football is in a different galaxy then in the late 60s; after all just been angry is not a good emotion.
We then had a summer of a X-Factor style auditions for the manager and the players. I do not know how our manager was selected. There seemed to be a procession of the great and good going through the doors of our club as we wasted precious time reflecting on the last season and looking through to this campaign. Gone are the days when the club could shut down for the summer and start with a photocall, a bit of light pre-season training, a friendly or two and then kick-off the campaign in style.
Part of a pre-season ritual involves me picking up the FourFourTwo season guide. A bit 'old skool' I know from a time when we could at least look forward to a play-off campaign at the end of a season, but it is always a bit of fun.
I bought the magazine within a couple of days of the new 'Robson' being installed as manager. The hype made me hope that Town would at least reach their customary place of 15th. The magazine predicted that we would finish in 22nd place. My heart sank. FourFourTwo thought that the key player of the season would be Martyn Waghorn. You can guess what I could say next but I do not want to write the words because anger is just not a good emotion.
I am not going to be in Birmingham tomorrow but I pay tribute to the Town fans who will attend. It is not an especially easy journey for fans to travel from Suffolk full of endless possible traffic jam hotspots and St Andrew's is no oil painting either. You are the lifeblood of the club; a pulse cutting through the hype, talk about Town finding luck in front of the net, faded talk about another Robson era starting and any more carefully prepared interviews from our owner.
I hope that you enjoy Town's first win of the season and any three points will put an extra bounce in my running shoes telling me that anger is just not a good emotion.
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